


Of Soldiers and Wolves

by Menatiera



Series: Bingo Fills [14]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: (again just one storyline and warned in advance), (only once and I warn in advance so you can choose another storyline), Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Body Dysphoria, Choose Your Own Adventure, Depression, F/M, First Kiss, Fix-It, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff with a Happy Ending, Gen, Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, Lots of fix-its, M/M, Multi, Multiple Storylines, On the Run, PolyAvengers, Polyamory, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Red Room, Sad Ending, Steggy - Freeform, Stucky - Freeform, Suicidal Thoughts, Team as Family, Through the Years, Torture, Winter Soldier Mission, and can be mostly avoided, and most storyline will be stucky in one form or another, animal possession, any warning applies only to one/a few chapters, buckynat - Freeform, cuddle room, death of old age of an animal, dreams vs reality, generic winter soldier warnings apply, happy end, happy third wheel, inaccurate picturing of wolves, memory problems, most of the endings are so fluffy you wouldn't believe based on these tags, team as lovers, the bad guys are assholes in every storyline, the main ship is stucky, this revolves around the two of them, torture of an animal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-04
Updated: 2019-07-07
Packaged: 2020-06-09 13:32:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 82
Words: 35,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Menatiera/pseuds/Menatiera
Summary: Steve died crashing the Valkyrie. It comes as a great surprise to him when he wakes up at all, more so that he wakes up non-corporeal and with the ability to share bodies with animals.My contribution to the Captain America Reverse Big Bang, that grew out itself into a huge project... thanks to the_genderman's gorgeous drawing!





	1. RULES AND HOW TO PROCEED

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Of Soldiers and Wolves](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19432618) by [the_genderman](https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_genderman/pseuds/the_genderman). 



> This first chapter is for the rules and warnings. Please read carefully and follow the rules in the best way for you!

This is a Choose Your Own Adventure story, meaning that at the end of some/most chapters there will be a choice to make by the reader. Each option will come with a chapter number, and you should jump to said chapter to continue the story with the preferred option. (If there isn’t a choice option, there will be only one chapter number to continue with.) I’ll add the option links in the end once the posting is done.

When there is a **skull** warning in front of an option, it means that storyline possibly has a sad ending within 3 turns. You still can choose a different ending until the very last option, but I included the warning in advance so you’d have more than one option to back out or go a different direction if you don’t want a sad end.

If you aren’t sure about a chapter, you can jump to the chapter end notes, where I try to address every trigger warning that might apply to that specific chapter. If you find any trigger warnings missing, please let me know so I can include them in the end notes!

When there is a **ship** warning in front of an option, it means that storyline possibly has a non-stucky pairing available somewhere within 3 turns. You still can choose a different path or go back to find another route, but I included the warning so you’d have plenty of time to back out if you don’t want a different ship. What does a non-stucky pairing mean? Either that they don’t get together in that storyline and it turns out gen, or that they’ll be included in a polyship. There is no option where they are in a romantic relationship in the very end with someone else but not with each other - though it might happen during a storyline on the way.

There is a numeric **navigation page** in [chapter 81](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46633459#workskin) that lists _every possible route_ if you need to check something. (It contains the end ship of the storyline too, and the sad ending is warned.)

There is is also a **one-sentence summary page** in [the last chapter (82.)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46652017#workskin) that summarises _every chapter_ in numeric order and the chapter number where you can go from there, if you need to check something.

I’d **love** to know your choices, so you’d probably make me really happy if you’d leave a comment with your choices under the chapters, but it’s not an obligation if you find that too much of a chore or if you prefer to rush through the story. However, I strongly **advise** you to keep your choices in mind at least for yourself - there will be chapters when it matters to the story where you came from and you’ll have to proceed accordingly.


	2. Chapter 2 : Prologue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This fic also counts as several bingo fills.  
> Stucky 2019 bingo: squares Hand holding, Pets, and Polyamory First meeting.  
> Bucky Barnes Bingo: squares B3 - reincarnation, U2 - Wintershield.  
> Star Spangled Man Bingo: More than meets the eye.  
> Clint Barton Bingo: T3 - fluff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are a lot of people who made this fic possible. 
> 
> The beautiful art inspiring this story started it all, and my artist, bless their soul, was with me through the whole process, encouraging me at every step.
> 
> Winnie helped me from the very beginning (and laughed their ass off whenever I complained that I've made a mistake by this monster-project). 
> 
> I had wonderful betas, alphas, brainstorming partners and cheer-readers. Without y'all, this wouldn't have been possible. Thank you so much for everything!

When Steve crashed the plane, he wasn’t afraid.

It was frankly odd – he couldn’t remember any time in his life when he hadn’t been afraid, but in those moments a new kind of clarity made everything simply clear and serene.

There was no more mission. No more struggle to live.

He had done his part. He had fought in the war, and he had defeated the enemy – the Red Skull was gone and by this sacrifice, he’d make sure that none of HYDRA’s plans came to fruition. No more innocents would die, so Steve could rest.

Of course there still was a war, and Nazis undefeated, but Steve knew enough about the situation to know that it was only a matter of time before the Allied forces took care of that problem. He felt a pang of disappointment at the thought that he wouldn’t see that – but Peggy would be there, he was sure, and he was content with that and didn’t need more.

Steve could rest. Finally – he could just – stop. For a moment. For an eternally long moment.

He couldn’t live a life with Peggy. Sure, Peggy was the finest dame he had ever had the luck to meet, and Steve hoped that there was a world somewhere, maybe just in their dreams, where they could make each other happy. But apparently it wasn’t this one. Steve would always be incomplete without his best friend, and Peggy deserved better than half a man - hell, Peggy would probably _demand_ better than half of a man, once she realized he could never be whole again. She wasn’t the type of woman to settle down with anyone less than the best for her, and Steve couldn’t be that anymore.

He couldn’t live a life with Peggy, but he could be reunited with Bucky. That was a fair deal – he couldn’t have both, he understood that. It would have been too much to ask from the universe. It was Steve’s fault that Bucky fell, and Steve was more than ready to follow his friend down, and this knowledge gave him peace.

He’d find Bucky.

It was almost like a last wish, a genuine, strong prayer to the universe as the blue of the water gave way to the white of the ice, and it grew bigger and bigger rapidly.

The impact threw his body out of the seat, and he was floating for a second or two. His shield was in his hand but he didn’t raise it up to protect himself, he just braced it for the comfort of the object he had known the best in the last year, the cold of the metal a reassuring sensation against his chest, the edges digging into his flesh with the force of his fall, and then it was just darkness and silence.

 _I’ll find Bucky,_ Steve thought with the last remnant of his clarity. _I’ll be with Bucky again._

**To continue,[go to chapter 21.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46364659)**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Steve's crashing the Valkyrie. If you're in this canon, I think you know what that means.


	3. Chapter 3

They didn’t talk about it, but they decided to stick together. Even after they’d left the base, dead bodies trailing their path whenever necessary, even after they’d left the jeep they’ve stolen to drive to a town, even after they’ve flown to several different cities under different aliases until they were sure their followers lost their tacks, they stayed together.

It would have been smarter to go separate ways. The Red Room were looking for the three of them, so they would have had an easier time disappearing alone. But Steve would never leave Bucky’s side, and apparently Natalia didn’t want to go alone either.

Steve’s presence made everything that much harder, given that a wolf on the streets (especially, as Natasha pointed out, a wolf with such distinguished features like Steve) wasn’t exactly an everyday sight, but none of them would allow Steve to fall behind and not be with them either.

So they kept moving.

**[Go to chapter 7.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46368433) **


	4. Chapter 4

_*Two years later*_

They lifted their head when the door opened and yawned.

“Hello, sweetheart,” Peggy called out, and they swirled their tail lazily. They were comfortable. Peggy reached to pat their head, and they let her. Steve pushed a bit against Goose, and the cat-who-wasn’t-a-cat smirked in their head and allowed him to get more pets from Peggy.

Steve wasn’t sure if the day he landed in Goose was the luckiest or the most unfortunate day of his afterlife. Goose wasn’t easy to live in the same body with. He had _opinions_ and he was strong-willed and thick-headed and Steve couldn’t do what he wanted like in his previous hosts. But also the flerken was just as intelligent as any human (or more intelligent, if Steve asked him), and helped Steve a lot, especially emotionally.

Steve didn’t really recognize before Goose how lonely he had become. That time was over, he had a constant companion – and they both had Peggy, who adopted the cat she had found on the street.

Goose was able and willing to sometimes help out Peggy. Steve and him guarded their shared home with sharp senses and abilities Steve wasn’t sure he understood but he admired their efficiency nonetheless.

But even if Steve could find a way to reveal himself to Peggy, which he so far hadn’t, he had no chance to act upon it because Goose was against it.

 _“Be more of a cat, Steve,”_ he advised sometimes – whatever it meant, he never disclosed. Steve hissed at themselves at the mirror in these occasions and Goose laughed at him and they were tense for a while, but then settled back to normalcy.

Well, as normal as their situation could be.

 _Shouldn’t we be old by now?_ Steve asked Goose once.

The flerken licked between their toe beans. _“I am a flerken and you don’t have a body. Why would we age?”_

_And that won’t be suspicious?_

Their tail wriggled. _“When it will be, I’ll go to someone else, who will again think I’m young.”_

 _You can’t do whatever you want forever_ , Steve warned.

Goose smiled. _“Of course I can. I am a cat.”_

*

Years passed. 

Life wasn’t perfect, but it was good. Steve had Goose and Peggy. Peggy had a cat that wasn’t just a cat. Their home was safe. He could be with the woman he had wanted to live with, even if not in a form he had wanted to live with. Steve could wish for more, but he couldn’t have more. He had died. And apparently, he had to live with the consequences of his decision.

If this was hell, it was much more pleasurable than he had imagined before.

The years passed. Peggy had a family and she grew older.

For a few brief years, they even switched owners – Goose insisted, because the woman was an alien and Goose said they had to protect her.

 _I don’t want to leave Peggy_ , Steve argued at first.

Goose swished the thought away. _“She’ll be here when we’re coming back, silly human. This is important. Weren’t you the one who liked to blurp out whole pep talks about doing the right thing?”_

He couldn’t argue with that. 

*

They were with Mar-Vell, and then with Fury for a bit, and then they got back to Peggy. Fragile, old Peggy. Steve looked at her with the same fondness regardless of the wrinkles or the troubles with remembering things.

Steve and Goose didn’t change. Steve didn’t want to think about a time when Peggy wouldn’t be around and he’d be still stuck in an alien cat capable of devouring cosmic cubes and multiple humans (or humanoid aliens, whatever) at a time.

He shouldn’t worry about it, though.

Who knows how many decades after their first meeting, the flerken raised their head, suddenly agitated. _“Something is wrong,”_ he thought, and for the first time, Steve felt nervousness sweeping into the cat’s emotions. _“The humans are doing something, they—”_

Goose couldn’t finish. At least not in a manner Steve was able to hear. Something yanked at him, taking his attention away. Steve tried to reach out to Goose again, tried to dig his heels to the ground and grab the flerken’s mind for leverage, but his mental hands slipped and he was ripped out of the body he had been inhabited for so long, torn away and through nothing so violently that he couldn’t help but black out.

**This is the end of this storyline. If you want to have more,[you can start a continuation reading from chapter 27](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46367713), or you can go back and change directions at any earlier point of the journey. Thank you for reading!**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: kind of dub-con on Peggy's part, since Steve lives in her home without her knowing that he lives with her.


	5. Chapter 5

Going on in the future was hard, but it was the nature of things. It was what life was about. Steve couldn’t just stop and he couldn’t just roll around in his grief and doubts.

Well, he had both of those. He had lost everything - his world, his time, his friends - and sometimes he felt he had lost his mind too. He remembered, maybe too vividly, the time right after the crash - the strange, non-corporeal experience. He remembered going from one host to another, he remembered being a wolf, and most of all, he remembered being a cat. Well, a flerken, but Goose had usually called himself a cat anyway.

He remembered his time with Peggy, with Mar-Vell, with Fury.

To this day he wasn’t sure if it was true or not - if it was nothing more than a product of vivid imagination that needed to come up with this shit to help his brain deal with the events, or if it was real, and he had indeed spent the last decades sharing the mind of another living beings.

But, within weeks of his awakening in the future, he had fought an alien army led by a Norse demigod, so his bar of plausibility was pretty high nowadays, therefore why couldn’t this be true?

Steve started to sniff around SHIELD. He started to check things that he had remembered from his time while he was supposedly buried under tons of water and ice.

The facts checked out. The things he had remembered - reports, missions, everything - they were correct. _Mostly_ correct.

Still, when the shrinks asked if he remembered something, he lied. He told them that his last memory was the crash. It was easier. He didn’t trust them for various reasons, and one of them what exactly what he had hidden from them: his memories, however incomplete or deniable they were, told him that something was off with SHIELD. Something didn’t add up, and whenever Steve found information missing while he sniffed around, the feeling got stronger.

At first he didn’t tell the Avengers either because it was easier not to, it was easier to keep up the charade among everyone than remembering what had he been sharing with whom. Plus the Avengers didn’t directly asked him, so it wasn’t a lie, obviously.

Well, he kept it as a secret until one drunken night with the team, loosened up by Thor’s mead brought as a gift and comforted by the presence of his unit.

No one laughed at him. 

Tony and Bruce got into an enthusiastic (to them at least) science theory about the possibility of mindsharing. Thor congratulated him for his developing abilities, assuring him that Loki started his sorcery the same way (which wasn’t reassuring _at all_ ). Clint instantly went into spy mode trying to figure out how to pinpoint the source of Steve’s discomfort and how to find out if something was indeed really odd with their employers. Natasha just slipped closer and entwined her fingers to his, squeezing a bit, offering her quiet comfort.

Steve loved all of them a little bit in that moment.

**!ship - To continue this storyline,[go to chapter 35.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46369750)**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: this storyline leads to polyavengers.


	6. Chapter 6

Learning to trust his teammates was a slow process, but a necessary one. 

Steve stayed with the Avengers, because he had nowhere else to go, and if he had to choose between Tony Stark’s hospitality among a bunch of rogues whom he saved the world with, or SHIELD’s barracks, it wasn’t really a question what he’d chose.

And it turned out to be his best choice.

Life in the Tower was easier than Steve expected. All of the Avengers had their smaller and bigger traumas, some that they’ve shared and some that were individual, but they learned how to work around those. 

Steve learned to share his space with people again, after being left alone with Bucky for so long, after being among and inside animals for so long. Sometimes it took effort to stay _human_ \- sometimes he had to resist the urge to get on fours or to run out to the forest or to stand guard, just because that was what he was used to in the last years.

Steve also learned how to trust someone again, how to rely on his teammates who weren’t Bucky in a fight, how to share his space with them without flinching away, how not to be startled by them. 

Surprisingly, or not so much, it was Tony who first noticed and voiced how uncomfortable Steve had been in his skin at the beginning, and then the others as well, and after half a year, it was Bruce who managed to coax the truth out of Steve.

**If you want to find Bucky out of cryo,[go to chapter 70.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46370320)**

**If you want to find Bucky still in cryofreeze,[go to chapter 65.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46370269)**


	7. Chapter 7

They headed West. Mostly West, sometimes North, but their general direction was to get out of the Soviet reign. They left behind another country, and another one, and another. Crossed borders and lines too.

The Soldier crossed a line when he not only slept in the same bed as Natalia, but he held her close the whole night, limbs and fingers entangled, and when Nat woke up and smiled at him, groggy with sleep and asked him to do this again the next time, Bucky agreed.

Natalia crossed a line when she shaved him and cut his hair and styled it according to the times, and suddenly Bucky looked so much younger without the constant shadow of his hair covering his face, and they smiled at each other in a way that made Steve’s heart both ache and swell with happiness.

She left the dresses and catsuits behind, chosen to wear baggy short jeans and puffy coats and T-shirts with funny images on them instead. She dressed him up in jeans too, and colorful shirts, though Bucky kept the military-issued boots, uncomfortable in even the most pleasant sneakers.

Steve was groomed as well, his fur colored dark brown from the current pale-grey, and got a comfortable leather collar that couldn’t shock him anymore, with a name tag on it, and he smiled happily at the thought of belonging visibly to Nat and Bucky.

**If you want wolf!Steve to stay with them,[go to chapter 75.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46369663)**

**!ship - If you want human!Steve to join this storyline,[go to chapter 52.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46368652)**


	8. Chapter 8

Bucky only slept relatively well when Steve was by his side to guard his rest. They both knew the wolf’s senses were sharper than even the Soldier’s, and this knowledge gave some peace of mind to both. Steve knew he’d wake up in time to protect Bucky, and Bucky knew that he didn’t need to be on high guard.

Therefore, when the guards slammed the door open, Steve was already at his feet, stance wide and fangs showed, and the Soldier awake and in a sitting position.

“Where’s the Widow?” Kaprov, their current handler, demanded.

The Soldier’s gaze slowly swept through all four of the guards crammed into the room, then returned to Kaprov. Everyone kept a healthy huge step’s distance from the pair.

“Not here, for starters.”

It would have been impossible to hide in this cell anyway. It had a bed, and a toilet, and that was all. It was barely big enough to pace three steps in it.

“Very funny, Soldier. Where did she go?”

Bucky raised an eyebrow. “Where she was ordered to go, I assume.”

“Try again. We know you’ve helped her escape,” Kaprov growled, and this managed to make Bucky interested, not to mention Steve. While the Soldier’s curiosity was only showed by his posture straightening up a bit and his eyes going wide, Steve actually yapped in shock and took a step forward, tail wiggling.

Three of four guns were immediately pointed at the wolf, the guards gasping. Everyone knew what the Soldier’s dog was capable of, just as they were aware of the Soldier’s abilities.

Bucky didn’t say a word, but he let out his own low growl, and Steve stepped back to his side immediately.

“Escaped?” The Soldier asked. “You mean she’s left the base without permission?”

“And killed three men on her way out,” Kaprov fumed. “She’s your student, Soldier. It’s your responsibility to keep her in check! Even if you didn’t help her actively, it’s your fault. You should’ve trained her better.”

Bucky didn’t answer to Kaprov, he didn’t even look at the handler anymore. He looked at Steve. “She never told us…” he muttered, and Steve knew the subtle clues enough to know that he was hurt. Bucky truly believed that Natalia would've trusted them enough to tell them.

Steve himself wasn’t sure what Bucky would’ve done if Natalia let him in on her plan to escape. He didn’t think Bucky would betray her, but then again, Bucky’s conditioning was strong, sometimes too strong.

Steve winced when Kaprov took a step forward.

Bucky looked up sharply. “You’ll need me if you ever want to find her,” he stated matter of factly.

The handler smiled. Steve didn’t like that smile a bit: it was Kaprov’s way of showing fangs, just like Steve did so often.

“Oh yeah. You could go after her. But would you help us to catch her, or you’d help her to escape? That we’re not sure of anymore, Soldier.”

Bucky seemed almost disgusted when he answered, “I’m your weapon.”

“Well, if that’s true, then you won’t mind to get the punishment now, the same that Widow will also get when we drag her back,” Kaprov said. His expression was pure sadism as he beckoned two guards forward with two sets of heavy cuffs in their hands instead of guns. Bucky sat still for a few heartbeats, just looking at them, eyes empty and expression motionless, and for a few seconds Steve hoped to see resistance sparkling up again. He wondered if Natalia’s escape would inspire Bucky to fight back again too, just like he had done in the beginning, though always in fruitless and painful attempts.

But the Soldier looked at Steve, sighed, and the moment passed.

He slowly stood up and turned around, hands resting at the small of his back, and he allowed them to cuff him both on his wrists and arms, shoulders pulled back into an uncomfortable angle. He bowed his head and closed his eyes.

Steve whined as a shock collar was put on him too, and three metal leashes attached to it so he would be controlled from more sides.

Punishment for something that they didn’t do, didn’t even know of beforehand.

And Bucky didn’t fight back, so Steve couldn’t either.

**To continue this storyline,[go to chapter 13.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46368394)**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Winter Soldier angst, physical hurt of the characters.


	9. Chapter 9

Bucky got a mission.

No - the Soldier got a mission.

And Steve knew that if it were Bucky, it would be their chance to escape, but with the Soldier? The Soldier would comply. The Soldier would finish the mission and then return to the rendezvous point and to their cell without any question or hesitation, because that’s what Weapon X made of his friend.

Still. Still Steve needed to be with Bucky, to accompany him to this.

First, because if there were any chance that Bucky woke up from under the programming, he would come back for his wolf to the base nonetheless if Steve were still there, and Steve _definitely_ didn't want to be the reason for Bucky’s ongoing suffering from the hands of their captors. Second, because Bucky had been watching Steve’s six all through their lives, and it was about time for Steve to return the favor and keep Bucky safe for a change - well, as safe as he was able. But he swore to himself that he wouldn't let Bucky down again. He did that enough times in the past, and his greatest failures to save Bucky led them to this mess.

Steve stared into the Soldier's eyes until Bucky understood what he wanted.

The Soldier, when presented with a vast array of weapons to choose from to his mission, picked out a bunch of knives, guns and a sniper rifle, then pointed to the wolf at his feet. "She comes too."

It wasn’t phrased as a question.

"No," the handler said.

"Yes," the Soldier said.

"It would compromise the mission," the handler argued, forgetting that they didn't need to do that.

"It wouldn’t," the Soldier said.

"The animal stays and that's an order, Soldier," the man finally found his commanding tone.

The Soldier straightened himself. "She's part of my weapons of choice. I am allowed to choose my own weapons for the mission."

"That's a dirty beast, not a weapon," the handler argued. He was mad by now, even Steve could hear the anger in his tone, and he could definitely smell it on him.

Steve stepped forward, teeth showing and a low, rumbling growl erupting from the depths of his stomach. He was sure Bucky would have grinned and raised a challenging eyebrow at the handler, going more pale instantly, but he didn't look, aware that the Soldier's empty expression would just upset him.

"... Fine, whatever," the man grumbled. "You’ll be punished when you fail a mission, not me, you idiot."

**If you want to read about the mission,[go to chapter 74.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46367575)**

**If you want to progress with the story,[go to chapter 12.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46367800)**


	10. Chapter 10

Steve needed more things than he could have all through his life. When one of his wishes came true, usually another got out of reach. When he was gifted his new body, when science made it possible for him to stay strong and healthy, he was ripped from his desire to do the right thing. When he fought his way into doing the right thing, he lost his chance for getting peace again.

Everything always had a price.

Steve wanted something easy for a change.

Not finding a dead body to mourn over, not proof that all hope is lost. He wished for Peggy: he wished for the warmth of her embrace and the taste of her lips on his. He selfishly wished he could rest with her, uncomplicated. He thought that by dying he could rest, but apparently he was wrong, and even in his death his soul was going toward Bucky, but Steve wasn’t sure there was a point for that. Bucky was dead.

Steve had lost him.

Steve wanted to mourn him, to have a chance, however slim it might be, to get something warm and happy into his existence again. His search for Bucky was futile and pointless, but a search for Peggy...

Peggy was still out there, alive.

Of course, maybe that was the point. She belonged to the living, and Steve wasn’t alive anymore. Technically, he probably shouldn’t long for her.

But when did rules ever stopped Steve, honestly?

He yanked at Becca and urged her to change directions.

 _Find Bucky,_ the subconscious command in the wolf, planted there by Steve’s dying wish, argued.

Steve pulled more gently this time, turning her around with a mixture of soft coaxing and determined commands, and finally Becca yielded and turned west. They took a few tentative steps. She shook themselves, lighter, like a weight had fallen off of her, and their movements became more definite. The farther they walked away from their original direction, the easier it got.

The new direction started to shine up in their head; each step a little breeze to feed the ember of it, to bloom it into flames, until the new torch was fired up properly.

Steve grinned and ran and ran and ran.

*

Steve wasn’t sure how much time had passed by the time they reached the city on the seashore, but he needed a ship to get to Peggy. He laid on their belly among the shadows of an alley – just a dog to everyone –, and tried to decide if he should give up his host. He’d miss Becca, but a wolf on a ship would cause quite a riot, probably. Maybe something smaller...

After a while movement caught their attention. The wolf whined in his head and cowered and wanted to flee. Steve had to calm her, laughing only to himself: how could a big and strong predator like a wolf be so afraid of something as unthreatening as a cat. Of course cats had claws and instincts and all, but they were so tiny compared to Becca. Steve mentally shook his head and eyed the cat, trying to decide if it would be a suitable host for this trip.

The cat didn’t seem to mind, as it was heading their direction, ready to pass next to them without any sign of worry.

**!ship - If you want to switch hosts, please[go to chapter 22.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46365715)**

**If you want to stay in the wolf, please[go to chapter 53.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46365760)**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Bucky's assumed death is still a topic in this chapter.


	11. Chapter 11

Bucky called Steve _‘Mine’._ He didn’t have a proper name or even a nickname for Steve - the latter, knowing that his idea of nickname was _Bucky_ instead of anything sensible, maybe wasn’t that much of a loss - but this one word always managed to warm Steve’s heart. Especially when he growled that word to handlers protectively hovering over Steve.

It wasn’t a tactically sound strategy, since it was bound to only strengthen their handlers’ determination to hurt one for punishing or motivating the other, but it also was everything Steve once had the gall to want. He couldn’t have been with Bucky while he was human and alive, now he got the chance as a wolf while dead.

*

Sometimes Steve was sure Bucky recognized him. There was a flicker of emotion on his face, a passing of light in his eyes, a shadow of a smirk on his lips when he looked at Steve. 

But other times he seemed completely indifferent and emotionless, even when looking at him, no matter that Steve was his only companion in captivity. Well, most of it, at least.

Steve would have given a lot of things to know what happened when they were separated, how the people here who called themselves Weapon X managed to erase Bucky’s personality this much. On the other hand, cowardice as it was, he was glad that he didn’t know, that he wasn’t _forced_ to know. It hurt enough as it was. He wasn’t sure he’d be able to face the real extent of knowledge and not snap, getting both of them killed.

If it were only for him, Steve would have done it long long time ago, but Bucky… Bucky. He couldn’t risk Bucky, and he had learned that any and all of his mistakes cost greatly not to him, but to Bucky.

And Bucky suffered enough as it was by the hands of their captors. No one needed to pile more on that.

**To continue reading,[go back to chapter 41](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46367104), where you've came from.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: general Winter Soldier pain.


	12. Chapter 12

“Soldier.”

The handler spoke Russian, but both of them understood it. Steve couldn’t remember the last time someone addressed Bucky in English.

Steve was in a different wolf - he didn’t give names to them anymore. They rarely lasted long in this place. Whenever it became too much and they got too agitated to be free again and out of human reach, Steve went to the forest and looked for a new host, always a wolf. He guessed that he switched hosts about every two-three years (it was impossible to keep count of the time here), and while he was inside, the animals withdrew to the depths of their minds. Steve had never found another wolf who he could work with as seamlessly as he did with Becca. He blamed this place, of course - it was hard to build up trust and cooperation when they had to deal with the treatment here.

Bucky didn’t move, didn’t lift his head, but from the lower angle resting at his feet Steve saw that he listened. Instead of the handler, Bucky watched Steve.

He did that a lot.

He always recognized Steve as _his_ , no matter which wolf he had as a host at the time.

“We’ve made an agreement with a sister institute called Red Room. They’re training the next generation of professionals. You’ll be on loan to them and train their future operatives.”

Bucky nodded without looking up.

**If you want Steve to try to stop this plan,[go to chapter 44.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46367827)**

**If you don’t want Steve to try to stop this plan and would rather see the Red Room,[go to chapter 32.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46367875)**


	13. Chapter 13

Bucky and Steve were dragged to a chamber they hadn’t seen before. It was buzzing with life in it: at least a dozen people in blue workers overalls or white lab coats were busy setting up…

Steve shivered at the sight of the cryofreeze chamber, and a pitiful howl erupted from his throat. Bucky tried to turn around and grab the door frame, but it was torn out from his fingers before he could get a good grip.

The guards laughed.

Steve hated them with every fiber of his being.

“What about the animal?” one of the technicians asked, eyeing Steve. He was relatively young among these lot.

“Don’t worry about it. Once we store the Soldier, this one will stay with him,” another one answered, nonchalant. “And if he gives too much trouble, he still has the collar on.”

Steve was shaking with rage, but the technician was right. The shock collar would make him incapable of fighting in a heartbeat, if they decided to let the electricity in it course through his whole body. And worse than that, if he was shocked unconscious or just incapable, he couldn’t help Bucky.

He couldn’t be the last sight before Bucky fell unconscious in the cold, he couldn’t help him keep himself relaxed through the procedure, and that would cause unnecessary suffering for Bucky. If Steve could help him save any amount of pain and discomfort, Steve would do what was necessary for that.

The technician strapped Bucky in the tube. Bucky was too spent to even try to protest, his eyes trained on Steve’s.

One of the labcoats made the mistake of stepping into their line of sight, Steve didn’t hesitate to bite him. The guards yanked at his collar, but they didn’t shock him. “Too bad for you, Doc. You were told not to do that,” they laughed.

“Fuck, that beast is rabid,” the injured man complained.

“What did you expect from the Soldier’s pet?” another one still laughed.

Steve snapped his jaws shut loudly as a warning sign, while tried to tune the people out, focusing on Bucky again.

When the machined whirred to life, Steve tensed up and whined.

Bucky kept his eyes open as long as he could, but then the cold overcame him and he finally laid back, letting it consume him. Soon the small window became too frost-covered to see the man inside.

Steve eyed the technicians until they were done and stepped away from the control panels. Then he slowly walked forward, this time not stopped by the soldiers who let go of the leashes, sniffed the tube and laid down next to it. He wouldn’t let anyone hurt Bucky. He wouldn’t let any goon mess with the machinery. He’d make sure of that.

“See? Told you,” a soldier said to another, clapping on their shoulder. “we don’t even have to pay attention to this room, the mutt does it all for us.”

“Heard that the Soldier will be kept on a shorter leash from now on,” a technician muttered. “No more long-term missions for him, and have to be kept in cryo between them all the time. At least those are our new instructions. He’ll be taken to an American organization in a few days. They’ve bought him prior to this fiasco, luckily.”

“Seems harsh.”

“If you ask me, it was a damn mistake to give him this much freedom lately, look where it led to…”

The conversations died down as everyone left the room, leaving Steve alone with Bucky’s frozen body. He sighed, shook his head. The collar with the leashes was still on, but he couldn’t help that. He closed his eyes, focusing on his other senses to keep themselves safe, and decided to have a rest himself too.

**To continue this storyline,[go to chapter 57.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46367956)**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Winter Soldier angst. Bucky is being put into cryofreeze. Steve bites a technician but isn't punished for it.


	14. Chapter 14

Natasha forced him on a vacation. Of course. After a while, Steve couldn’t argue with her, so he packed up a backpack (Bruce helped a lot), grabbed Clint by the hand, saying that if Steve was banished on a vacation because he had spent quite a few time in suspended animation, then he needed a guide from this time period.

Plus Clint was an easy-going friend who rolled with any sudden idea, grinned wildly at the thought of a not work-related trip to Europe, and probably could and would survive even on a barren wasteland after a zombie apocalypse, so Steve felt relatively safe in his hopes of not getting lost. He didn’t plan to rely on modern technology - inspired by his disturbing dreams, Steve planned to go as nomad as possible.

Turned out that while Clint probably could survive well in a barren wasteland after a zombie apocalypse, and was well-adjusted in any urban jungle, rural Europe gave him a hard time, to put it mildly. But they both loved the challenge, and Steve was still a little shit at heart, so he made a sport of avoiding as much of civilization as they could while trekking through the lands from one eastern-european country to another, hitchhiking and camping, enjoying the nature.

That’s where Bucky had found them.

*

Bucky dashed out from the woods during twilight, when the lights were enough to see the dulled shades and shapes of objects on the path but not enough to dwell on details, and made a sound that Steve would remember till his dying day. That cry that was both wounded and overjoyed, and was beyond the capacity of words. Bucky rounded them and threw himself at Steve, and Steve reacted on instinct to catch the man flying to his face, if for nothing else than to protect himself. He didn’t recognize Bucky until Bucky was in his arms, but the moment they touched, the moment Bucky’s scent hit him, Steve _knew._

It was a moment of clarity: of who Bucky was, and of who Steve was, and that they belonged together. 

Steve didn’t care if his dreams were prophetic or not, but he knew they led him here.

Bucky’s embrace was both warm and cold, familiar and new. Steve hugged back tightly and realized belatedly that he was crying, but it was okay, Bucky cried too, and somehow the world was well.

After a while even Clint gave up pointing a gun at them and demanding answers; and wandered away to set up camp instead.

**[Go to chapter 69.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46370764) **


	15. Chapter 15

“Higher!” Bucky barked out, hitting at head's height so Natalia had to raise her arms further to block him. “You're still leaving an opening!”

“Just because you're so damn tall,” Nat teased. She was sweating but had a smile on her lips. Natalia always smiled - she was trained to keep up appearances even while dying. “I’m used to smaller opponents.”

“That just shows the flaws of your training before. Most of your opponents are going to be way bigger than you.” 

Steve watched the sparring from the sidelines now and he noticed something unusual. Bucky was _smirking._ The Soldier almost never showed emotions, and he clearly never smirked before.

Steve was in awe.

“I've beaten all of my classmates,” Natalia pointed out.

That was the way of survival here. Steve and Bucky also had to kill a few agents to establish their position, not like Steve particularly minded that. As long as they didn’t have to murder the children, he was fine with this.

“Not all,” Soldier corrected. “There’s still two of them left.”

“Not for long.”

“I train them too.”

“I’m better.”

“True.” He landed a hit, and Natalia flew over the air, barely able to break the fall in time. “But not the best yet.”

“I am, save from you,” she argued, leaping at him and wrapping her thighs around his neck. Bucky threw himself to the ground to get rid of her, and Steve decided to get up, waiting for an opening to join in.

Soon Steve had her pinned down under his paws, Natalia staring up at his wolf-eyes. Bucky settled down next to them.”If anyone’s able to surpass me, that’ll be you, Natalia,” he said quietly. “But you have a long way ahead for that.”

Nat didn't blink and raised her hand, slowly touching Steve!s forehead, caressing him until Steve let her go and she could sit up. “I’ll be content getting on your level, honestly,” she admitted quietly. “Do you think I’ll get a wolf too?”

Bucky exchanged a look with Steve. “I doubt it,” he finally said. “But the world isn't always what we expect it to be.”

**!ship - If you want Natalia to grow up under the pair’s guidance,[go to chapter 67.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46368187)**

**If you want to see what happens when Natalia gets hurt,[go to chapter 24.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46368283)**

**If you want Natalia to escape the Red Room,[go to chapter 8.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46369063)**


	16. Chapter 16

Steve was the one who stayed awake with Bucky at the first night, and the second, when Bucky was too afraid to sleep, too afraid for this dream to be ripped from him if he closed his eyes for too long.

He was the one who showed Bucky the future - who introduced him to new food, who shoved books into his hands to read, who watched cartoons with him.

He was the one who suffered Bucky’s bad coping mechanisms like the hoarding, the weapons, the sleepwalking, the lurking.

He was the one who enjoyed the good ones as well. The clinging, for example - Bucky needed touches like a lifeline, and snuggled Steve all the time, curling around him in their shared bed and acting like they were attached to the hips when out of their floor in the Tower. It took a long time for Bucky to even tolerate other people’s presence, but he needed Steve.

He needed his Steve as Bucky like he had needed his wolf as the Soldier.

*

“You remember it?” Steve asked when Bucky mentioned it once, surprised, because Bucky’s memory was hazy at best, with wide gaps and huge holes in it thanks to his treatment and his trauma.

Bucky shrugged, almost sheepishly, and averted his gaze, like he did so often nowadays. “A bit,” he mumbled.

Which meant more than enough. Steve tightened his embrace around Bucky’s shoulders.

“I hope it’s a good memory,” he quietly said, and Bucky looked up sharply.

“Of all the things I remember, you’re the only fucking good thing, Steve,” he snapped.

He snapped at Steve sometimes, and even that made Steve happy, because that meant that Bucky felt safe enough to let his emotions out of control.

“Alright, alright,” Steve said. “I just wanted to be sure. I know that if I weren’t there…”

“Then I would’ve killed myself,” Bucky finished the sentence before Steve could, interrupting him, and that made Steve quiet for a long while.

Even imagining that scenario hurt too much. Maybe there was a reason why had he been able to possess animals and accompany Bucky through the decades of torture. Maybe some kind of God existed after all and had wanted to make sure that Bucky got out of that situation alive.

Because he deserved to live.

Steve pressed a gentle kiss on Bucky’s forehead.

“I’m glad we’re both alive,” he stated, as honest and genuine as he ever could be.

Bucky looked up at Steve, and suddenly his tired and haunted gaze wasn’t as sad as before, and Steve saw something in it, a strange glint he couldn’t decipher or identify, and Bucky’s eyes flickered to Steve’s lips before he turned away. “Me too, pal.”

**If you came here through chapter 72,[go to chapter 23.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46370572)**

**If you came here through chapter 33,[go to chapter 30.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46370539)**


	17. Chapter 17

When Steve brought home his best friend from the past with mysterious circumstances including, but not limited to being the intelligence community’s boogeyman for a long time, everyone expected trouble to arrive with Bucky.

Everyone was wrong.

Of course, there _were_ bad things. Like the hoarding. Or the weapons that went missing and turned up attached to Bucky somehow, despite him being on strict no-weapon policy in theory. Or the time when he wandered the Tower at night like a ghost and startled Bruce so badly that he Hulked out. Or the time when he played fetch with DUM-E and broke not one, not two, but three Iron Man armors in the process with the clumsy bot. Or the nightmares. Or…

But. Beside those things.

Bucky fit in surprisingly well, which probably said more about how traumatized everyone was than of Bucky’s ability to shake off fuck knew how many years of torture. (Admittedly he didn’t do badly on that department either, and luckily he had a lot of practice under his belt already.)

*

“You remember it?” Bucky sometimes asked, surprised or pleased or annoyed, when Steve mentioned something from his wolf time.

“A bit,” Steve usually answered, and pressed a gentle kiss on Bucky’s forehead.

They shared the story with the team. Tony and Bruce, of course, came up with some theories, but it wasn’t like they could recreate it in laboratory environment. (Tony mentioned the idea of freezing Steve to see the effect, but after nearly got killed by a metal-armed assassin, he dropped the topic.)

*

“I’m glad we’re both alive,” Steve confessed, as honest and genuine as he ever could be.

Bucky looked up at Steve, and suddenly his tired and haunted gaze wasn’t as sad as before, and Steve saw something in it, a strange glint he couldn’t decipher or identify, and Bucky’s eyes flickered to Steve’s lips before he turned away. “Me too, pal.”

**[Go to chapter 30.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46370539) **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: PTSD and recovery.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: depression, PTSD and **suicidal thoughts**. Please tread carefully - if you need to, you can even skip this chapter, and the next one will be understandable.

Steve woke up in a room with the lingering feeling that something was very, very odd.

Steve assessed his surroundings, analysed the information he got, and figured out it was a setup.

Steve broke out and ran for it.

Only to discover that there was nowhere to run, because this was the future - the 21st century, dear God - and he didn’t die like he wanted to and now he had to live with the consequences.

Including losing even the remnants of his world after losing everything already with Bucky’s fall.

In the first two weeks of his awakening Steve eyed the razor laying on the sink with its blade turned down, and debated if he could do it. If he could repeat it, if he could make sure this time, or if there was a reason behind his survival and he couldn’t take this way out, at least not before discovering that reason.

The battle was constant at the end of every day, and Steve’s will to live won every evening, though each time he mostly felt like losing.

And then an alien invasion happened, and Steve had no choice than to square his shoulders and march on, because there were people who relied on him, and maybe, just maybe, he could rely on people too.

**If you’ve come to this chapter through chapter 40,[go to chapter 37. ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46370674)**

**If you’ve come to this chapter through chapter 75,[go to chapter 78.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46370797)**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: waking up in the future Steve is in a very low mental state because he thinks Bucky is dead, he has (unidentified by him) depression, PTSD and **suicidal thoughts/plans**. Please tread carefully - if you need to, you can even skip this chapter, and the next one will be understandable, though maybe not as enjoyable without this setup.


	19. Chapter 19

“Hey Nat,” Steve half-yawned, “whose turn it is to do breakfast today?”

“Fuck you Rogers,” Natasha grumbled, “I’m sleeping.”

“No you’re not,” Bucky wriggled a bit under the weight of two bodies on his chest, which resulted in low groans from both parties. “And it’s your turn baby girl.”

“Fuck your chores lists too, Steve,” Natasha refused to open her eyes.

“I don’t see you complain when it’s our turns,” Steve muttered. “At least my lists keep this cabin from turning into a filthy stink hole. You two are terrible at chores.”

“I’ve been used as a weapon for God knows how long, give me some slack with doing the dishes,” Bucky complained.

“Excuse me, I’ve been there too, I know exactly what had happened,” Steve didn’t even try to suppress his next yawn. “But I’m starving  _ now _ .”

“You’re terrible,” Nat grumbled as she slowly disentangled herself from the sheets she rolled herself into the night, and opened the cuff on her right wrist, secured to the bedframe. She still needed it to be able to sleep at all, no matter how much Steve or Bucky protested that she could have a rest without it. “I don’t even know why I stick around you. Or Yasha, for that matter.”

Bucky only smiled. Steve threw a pillow at her, which she dodged easily.

“There’s pancake mix in the fridge I made yesterday evening,” Steve took mercy on her. “Just don’t burn them down like last time.” He paused for a moment. “And don’t add chili sauce instead of jam.” Another pause. “And the gunpowder is not a substitute for cocoa.”

Bucky snickered. “You have to admit, that one was an interesting breakfast.”

“My teeth can still feel the crunch, and it’s like the texture equivalent of nails on blackboard,” Steve shuddered.

“You either stop complaining or I go out and swim in the lake instead of making breakfast entirely,” she threatened.

Bucky pushed Steve off of his chest. “Lord no, I wouldn’t miss your meal, Nat,” he grinned. “Stevie, get your ass out of the bed and do the table for breakfast.”

“What about you?”

“I’ll check the traps,” Bucky answered matter of factly. Among them, he was the only one who not only preferred but needed to sleep in clothes. He didn’t even own pajamas, slept in daily clothes all the time.

Steve let him go with minimal grumbling. They had chosen a cabin in the Canadian wilderness, far off the grid, to live in. It was a good life. They all loved the physical work of their daily routines, the fact that they were on their own and their life relied on no one else but them. They made their own food, maintenance, everything. They went into town for supplies once a month - they brought enough cash with themselves that they could keep up this lifestyle for decades if they decided to.

Steve loved Bucky and Bucky loved Steve. Natasha loved Bucky and Bucky loved Natasha. Steve and Natasha were great friends and none of them minded to share Bucky.

They had nightmares more often than not. They had days when they were moody, and snapping at each other. They had days when old injuries flared up and left them restrained with pain, both mental and physical. They had days when they weren’t sure what being human meant. Bucky had days when he couldn’t seem to decide on anything and needed orders to move. Natasha had days when she didn’t listen to her chosen name. Steve had days when he curled up in front of the fireplace and had to be convinced to stand on two legs instead of all fours, too used to being a wolf for decades.

But they had each other during those times, and they also had good days. Days when the sun was shining and the birds were chirping and they had no worries at all. Days when they all laid in bed and just enjoyed the closeness of each other. Days when Bucky prompted a walk in the woods and started to sing old songs he barely remembered, and days when Natasha gave them little presents, and days when Steve drew pictures of his partners, lovers, friends in their cozy little cabin.

Life wasn’t perfect, but it was good and peaceful, and it got better slowly and steadily.

Steve was ready to face what it was about to bring.

**This is the end of this storyline. If you want a different ending, you can go back to the previous chapters any time and choose a different way! Thank you for reading!**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: they have PTSD. Gosh, I wonder why.


	20. (skull) Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: bittersweet possible-end with an aging Becca who is ready for her death. (There is a continuation if you want it.)

Bucky didn’t seem to age. Steve, however, did. Well, technically not him, but the body of the wolf. Lately Becca didn’t feel or look or even smell good. Their movements slowed down, their fur turned grey on the edges.

Becca started to urge Steve to leave. Steve wasn’t sure he understood her wish - he wasn’t sure he wanted to understand. He’d fight anything and anyone to keep Becca’s company, to make sure she was alright and safe - though, to be fair, their life in the base seemed to prove the opposite, despite the fact that their mutual and shared decisions led them into this mess, not him alone -, but old age wasn’t something that Steve could fight.

They sat down next to the Soldier. (It was… hard to call him Bucky, even in his head, when he was staring ahead so blankly, always waiting, always vigilant, ready for the next order. Bucky had never been able to sit still. Steve’s heart ached.) He reached out and petted them absent-mindedly, without looking at them. It didn’t matter - the fact that the Soldier acknowledged them meant a lot alone.

They started to nudge his side until they got him to look them in the eye. Steve blinked when it happened. He had no idea how to tell Bucky that he had to leave for a while. Through the times they’ve developed a series of signs and behaviors that allowed them basic communication, but this topic was widely out of their range.

Steve looked at the door, back to Bucky, and whined. The Soldier shook his head, tiny jerk of a movement left and right, barely visible.

Steve repeated their whine, then dramatically laid out on the floor and closed their eyes. He waited a few heartbeats then peeked up, praying that Bucky got something out of it.

Sure he did, though. Even though the Soldier was trained to not show emotions, Bucky now looked sad, his face scrunching into a painful grimace, his lips pressed into a thin line and his brows nearly meeting. He didn’t move for a moment, then lightning fast he leaped forward and hugged Steve.

It wasn’t a violent gesture. Despite its speed Bucky’s movements were gentle and careful - but even if they weren’t, Steve loved Bucky’s hugs, so rare nowadays. He soaked its heat up, hoping it would keep him warm when the inevitable happened, hoping he could carry this moment on, whatever came next.

He wasn’t sure how long it lasted - a second or a millennia was equally possible. He just felt Bucky’s hands, metal and flesh alike, Bucky’s face buried into fur, their bodies pressed together firmly. He just felt his ribcage expand and their heart burst out of its place, unable to hold all the love and sorrow mixed together inside.

“Come back to me,” Bucky mumbled, almost inaudible.

Steve couldn’t promise him that, and the weight of his helplessness crumbled in him again.

Then Bucky was gone, quick as he came, sitting with his back to the wall and not looking at Steve, but his hand jerked toward the door.

“Go if you have to.”

They stood up, hesitant. Even Becca wasn’t sure it was wise to leave the Soldier alone after this, though she was the one who had urged their departure as soon as possible.

“You’re not mine anyway,” Bucky added even more quiet, mumbling under his breath, and Steve could’ve cried if he wasn’t in the body of a wolf, unable to form tears.

In a way, they were Bucky’s. In more ways than one, probably. But death didn’t wait, not even for Bucky, and Becca was old and tired, body and soul alike, and Steve had kept her in this hell long enough. She deserved a peaceful end at least.

They got to their feet and slowly went to the door.

It wasn’t closed. It hadn’t been for a long while - the Soldier didn’t go anywhere without orders and therefore locks weren’t needed anymore.

Steve worked until he opened it and then walked out, looking back only once, meeting Bucky’s gaze and getting a small nod of approval from him. 

They started to howl in pain only after they left the base.

There was a howl answering from the direction of a base: a lonely predator in human skin mourning his partner.

**This can be the end of this storyline. If you’d like to accept this bittersweet end, thank you for your time and reading! You can always go back and choose a different direction if you want!**

**For a continuation reading, if you want to see how Steve manages to stay with Bucky,[go to chapter 38.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46367377)** ****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Major Character Death - Becca prepares for her death of old age, therefore this is a sad chapter. Nothing descriptive or too detailed. But there is a way out! For Steve at least.


	21. Chapter 21

He couldn’t move. He didn’t… feel his body at all. He was in the air, he _was_ the air, and he was down, and he was up, and he was everywhere. He was nowhere. He couldn’t move.

He gasped for air, but he didn’t need air either, and without a body he didn’t breathe at all. At least he thought he didn’t. He wasn’t sure.

_Bucky. Where is Bucky? Peggy? Where am I? Find Bucky! Find Peggy? Find… where..._

Steve was pretty sure something was wrong. He had died, right? He should have been… somewhere. Anywhere. He should have been with Bucky. What was the point of dying if he couldn’t even be with Bucky?

Movement. There was movement. His attention turned, and it felt slow like a slug, he couldn’t really control it, but his mind reached out. He groped around like he would do with his hands in darkness, only his hands didn’t move – did he have hands in the first place? – but the sensations were the same, and he got the feeling again. Movement. Not only one movement, but at least two of them.

One of them was… huge. Majestic and patient, the movements unhurried. Whatever it belonged to, was a calm creature, not paying any mind to the way Steve edged closer to it.

The other one was tiny, and lightning fast – and Steve of course just imagined the silver flash in front of his eyes, since he didn’t have eyes in the first place, he just _was_ but without anything physical to cling into. Both of these movements were cold but they promised flesh and blood, they promised material, they promised _body_ and _life_.

Steve had no idea what he was doing, but he threw himself forward.

**!ship - If you want Steve to check out the huge creature,[go to chapter 47.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46365301)**

**If you want Steve to check out the tiny creature,[go to chapter 49.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46365493)**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: kind of body dysphoria? But not really, since he has no body.


	22. Chapter 22

Steve mentally prepared himself to the jump, while he conveyed his gratitude to Becca. She was not only very easy to live with, one of the most eager hosts Steve had experienced, but she was smart as a whip and twice as dangerous, and Steve would miss her for sure. The feeling was probably only partially mutual, but Steve was in her head: he knew that she liked the time spent together too.

But it was time to leave.

Becca didn’t protest at all, every thought not held tightly by Steve still focused on how to get away.

Steve jumped.

The cat turned his head slightly and Steve got the strange feeling that it _watched_ him soaring through the air, right until Steve landed.

He slipped in without any initial resistance. Good starting point, and Steve would...

 _“Seriously?”_ an unfamiliar voice in Steve’s head said. It was very clearly unimpressed. _“Into my mind? You’re either very bold or very stupid, human.”_

Steve blinked, then blinked some more. _Uhm…._

 _“Articulate, I see,”_ the cat commented. _“What are you looking for?”_

**!ship - If you want Steve to be honest with the cat and explain the situation to him,[please go to chapter 4.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46365820)**

**!ship If you don’t want Steve to explain himself to the cat,[go to chapter 71.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46365898)**


	23. Chapter 23

“They say it’s not a sin anymore, and not something to punish,” Bucky started without any warning, and even after them had shared most of their time both awake and asleep for months, Steve looked up in confusion and a questioning glance. 

“They say it’s not a sin anymore,” Bucky repeated.

Steve still had no idea what it meant. “What’s not?”

“Loving men,” Bucky slowly said, “kissing men. I’ve seen the parade.”

“Yeah, same sex relationships are even legalized now,” Steve smiled up at his friend warmly, feeling the corners of his eyes wrinkling by how wide his grin was. The future was amazing, and he loved that he could share with Bucky now. “We’ve watched Pride together yesterday.”

“I know,” Bucky nodded. “I want to.”

“Want what?”

“Kiss you,” Bucky said.

Steve’s throat went dry as the desert in a second flat, and his heartbeat jumped into a thunderous rhythm. He wasn’t sure his ears weren’t ringing.

“You don’t have to,” Steve heard himself saying, “if you think it’s an obligation or something that is  _ expected _ of you, it’s not. You’re free to do anything you want, Buck.”

God, he wished it was true. Now that Bucky  _ mentioned _ it, Steve couldn’t think of anything else but Bucky’s lips on his, how their tongues would collide, and how sweet Buck’s mouth might taste.

Steve knew he was in love (and in denial, for a very very long time) with his best friend, but never really  _ thought _ about it. Never fantasised about what it would mean if it could turn into a reality, because it couldn’t. At least he had lived most of his life in a world where it couldn’t,  _ when _ it couldn’t. But now was now, and in the 21st century, it was allowed.

And Steve still didn’t think about it, because he would never have thought that Bucky would be like him. That Bucky could possibly want anything else than a friendship from Steve, than to be his brother in all but blood.

And now Bucky said, out loud, plain and simple, that he wanted to kiss Steve. Which possibly meant that his love toward Steve also wasn’t as pure and innocent as Steve’s for him.

“I don’t want it out of obligation,” Bucky argued. “I want it because I want it. I’ve wanted it for a long time, I think. I’m not sure. But I know what I want  _ now _ , Steve.”

They leaned forward at the same time, and it felt even better than Steve’s mind pictured it just moments earlier. It felt sweeter, more genuine, more peaceful, more electrifying, and more perfect than Steve could ever come up with it himself.

He wasn’t sure how long it lasted, a moment or an eternity, but when he finally pulled back to breath, Bucky didn’t let him, followed him and crowded his mouth again. “And  _ now _ I know I never want to stop this, Stevie.”

Steve freed himself only long enough to say, “Me neither,” and dived back into the kiss.

**This is the end of this storyline. If you want a different ending, you can go back to the previous chapters any time and choose a different way! Thank you for reading!**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: mention of period-typical homophobia, nothing detailed. Bucky discovers (or at least, it sinks in) that homosexuality is allowed now.


	24. Chapter 24

Natalia was almost a grown up when they met, but during the years she became a gorgeous woman - and the most dangerous one in the world, probably. Steve didn't miss the way Bucky looked at her, pride and raw admiration in his gaze when no one else was present. He didn't miss _her_ glances either, equally smitten and equally hidden, dancing around each other in sparring and in words when they could, and pretending to be only professional acquaintances when handlers were around.

Meanwhile she grew fond of Steve as well. That was also a secret, because out of the three of them only Steve could show his affection as much as he wanted. Everyone knew Steve had a strong bond to the Soldier, so they didn’t expect anything else from him, and adding Natalia as a second person he cared for was maybe surprising at first, but not to a shocking extent.

As long as Natalia didn’t show affection back publicly, they were good.

They mastered their game of pretending - no surprise, since she was a spy and the Soldier was simply experienced in keeping the remnants of his true self close to his heart.

*

But of course even they couldn't fully outsmart a full organization of spies and secret agents.

The secret glances and stolen touches didn’t go unnoticed, apparently. The walls had ears and the rooms held invisible eyes, and one night, when the stars weren’t in favor of them or the wind blew from the wrong direction, the Winter Soldier was awoken by their handlers with a sharp command and led to a room where Natalia was strapped to a chair.

She was bloody and bruised, and Steve got an awful vertigo looking at her, a sense of deja vu regarding the time he had found Bucky in a cell, beaten and missing an arm.

Natalia at least had both arms, even though at least the right one was definitely broken and the shoulder joint out of its socket based on its odd angle and the swelling of the forearm.

The room smelled of blood and pain and sweat, and Natalia was barely able to raise her head, but she did, she lifted her chin and grinned with red teeth that matched her dishevelled hair, and her one eye that didn’t disappear under swelling shone with defiance.

They placed a knife in Bucky’s hand.

“Black Widow is compromised,” Kaprov, their handler, said. “She’s not faithful to our cause anymore. You’re the expert at this, Soldier. You’re going to teach her the lesson of traitors.”

Steve growled.

Bucky looked at Natalia, with the knife in his hand, motionless.

**If you want Bucky to comply,[go to chapter 59.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46369117)**

**If you want Bucky to go against the order,[go to chapter 26.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46368490)**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Black Widow angst, Winter Soldier angst. Natasha is seriously injured as a result of torture and threatened with more torture.


	25. Chapter 25

From the moment Steve regained his consciousness, he had a mission.

Even before opening his eyes, he took a moment to think it through. He wasn't sure what happened - where he might wake up - but he knew that someone dragged him away from Bucky’s cryofreeze tank, probably drugged him too, and Steve had to get back to Bucky.

And for that, he had to play carefully. He didn't know how someone managed to ambush him, as it literally hadn't ever happened, but it didn't matter. Whatever they wanted to throw at him, he was ready, he…

He blinked his eyes open as the realization hit him. He was laying on his back and it wasn't… it was off, it was…

He wriggled his fingers.

_Human fingers._

He stretched his legs.

_Human._

That wasn't right. How did he ended up in a hum--

He sat up and looked over himself and swallowed.

He remembered this body. He recognized this body, no matter how long it had been since he hadn't inhabited it.

_He was in his own body._

In the serum-enhanced, muscular, healthy body of Captain America.

Steve took a deep breath, and his lungs expanded. He lifted his fingers in front of his face and wriggled them again and they moved on his command.

He raised to his feet, taking a tentative step forward, and couldn't help the tiny ghost of a smile on his lips.

_He was in his supersoldier body again._

And that meant that he could fight back properly, better than he ever could as a wolf. That meant he could use weapons - hell, he could _open doors_ on his own for starters. He could use the muscles and the healing and every skill and ability he had as Cap.

He could free Bucky.

Steve grinned, then schooled his expression and turned toward the woman who stepped into the room.

_Game on._

**To continue this storyline,[go to chapter 68.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46370146)**


	26. Chapter 26

“Is there a problem?” Kaprov asked, threat clear in his voice. Steve widened his stance, ready to jump to Bucky’s protection.

“No.” Bucky’s tone was flat and emotionless. The Soldier’s voice, even more than usual.“I’m examining her bonds.”

“Well, get to work instead.”

“They’re wrong,” Bucky said.

“Nothing’s wrong with them.”

Bucky turned to Kaprov. The guards raised their guns, now aiming at the Soldier.

“They’re wrong,” Bucky repeated calmly. “I’ve taught her how to get out of these.” Steve knew a millisecond before it happened, but Kaprov and the guards weren’t that lucky. Steve jumped, and Bucky leaped forward, knife turning in his hand. Natalia also set into motion, slipping out of the bondage that she probably loosened earlier, going at a guard with her bare hands, which was more than enough weapon for her.

Shots were fired, aimed at the Soldier. Bucky dodged or blocked them with the metal arm.

Half a minute later, there were eight dead guards and an unconscious Kaprov on the ground. Steve’s tongue lolled out at one side and his drool was red with their enemies’ blood. Bucky’s breath didn’t even hitch, even though he took care of five of their opponents.

“Well,” Bucky said, looking around. “That’s a problem,” he mused.

“Only if they find us here,” Natasha replied, her voice rough, picking up a guard’s gun. “I’m afraid we’re all dishonorably discharged from our services. Let’s get out of here, boys.”

Steve and Bucky exchanged a look, a mute conversation playing flawlessly between them. Steve’s eyes practically pleaded Bucky to accept that offer, to leave, before they got punished like she got punished for not being loyal enough. They went against orders and they both knew how unforgivable that act had been.

“Steve will lead the way,” Bucky finally said.

Steve was more than happy to obey.

**!ship - If you want the three of them to stick together,[go to chapter 3.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46364584)**

**If you want Steve and Bucky to go separate ways from Natalia now that they’re free,[go to chapter 77.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46368571)**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: violence against the bad guys. They kill a few of the Red Rom guards.


	27. Chapter 27

The first thing Steve registered wasn’t really the fact that he was back. Definitely not the people around him.

The first thing he registered was the cold – it was deeper than he ever imagined cold could reach. Not just clinging on his skin and sweeping into his flesh, but it was encapsulated in his bones, and the marrow inside; it reached down to his mind and to his soul and put shackles around them, it immobilized him and made him helpless.

Steve had hated cold before, but this was pure and utter _terror_.

He wanted to get out. He needed to escape. He had to…

Move.

Movement was life. Movement kept a body warm. Steve knew how to fight against the cold even when he had so few weapons against it, how to huddle close to warm bodies, how to wrap himself up in blankets, how to ration hot soup to preserve his body temperature as long as possible. But he had none of those now. He didn’t have blankets or hot drinks, and he definitely didn’t have a warm body next to him.

But, and he realized it only at that moment, he might have _a_ body.

His own? Maybe?

It seemed impossible somehow, but he couldn’t have cared less: with what felt like a heroic effort, he moved his fingers, one by one.

The pins and needles were overwhelming. When was the last time he had felt something like that? When was the last time he had felt anything this strongly in his body?

Steve tried again. The voices around him got louder. If only he could open his eyes…

But there was a sting and Steve fell back into the darkness once again.

**If you’ve come here from chapter 47 or 71,[go to chapter 50. ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46369405)**

**If you’ve come here from chapter 4,[go to chapter 5.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46369444)**

**If you’ve come here from chapter 57,[go to chapter 25.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46369465)**

**If you’ve come here from chapter 40 or 75,[go to chapter 18.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46369591)**

**If you've come here from chapter 42,[go to chapter 29.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46369690)**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: general Steve angst, nothing extraordinary.


	28. Chapter 28

“Hey Buck. We’re out of firewood. Can you chop up some?” Steve asked, climbing down from the attic.

Bucky mutely nodded and headed out without a word. Steve sighed as he looked after him.

They’d been living off the grid in this safehouse for nearly a year now without incident. And by incident he meant that neither their enemies finding them nor one of them having an episode so bad that they became a danger to each other. It happened often in the beginning - waking up from a nightmare fighting; getting spooked by an unexpected touch, the sorts. But they’ve learned to avoid those occasions, mistake by mistake.

Still there were times when they did nothing wrong to themselves or to each other, days just got… bad, without a reason. Days when Bucky got quiet and withdrawn, when he needed orders, when he refused to go outside, when he got confused… when pain flared up in his old injuries or when the snow got too much outside or the stars aligned in a wrong way.

Like this one.

Of course, Steve had his issues as well. He supposed no one managed to live in bodies of animals for decades without having a hard time being human afterwards. He sometimes forgot himself and crawled out of bed on all fours. He growled instead of forming words. He couldn’t bear to have clothes sometimes, his bare skin getting irritated by the touch of fabric.

But it got better. Slowly and steadily it got better, and each month when they were left alone became better than the one before. 

They had each other, and they had always been an absolute unit, a force to be reckoned, a pair to overcome any obstacles. They’d survived Steve’s fragile health. They’d been through the biggest war in history. They’d got out of the horrors of Weapon X and the Red Room.

They were going to be okay.

Bucky came back into the house, and Steve stepped closer, careful to project all his movements beforehand, and pulled him into an embrace. Bucky’s body was lean but muscular, running hot, and he relaxed step by step into the touch, into the embrace, until he was able to wrap his arms around Steve as well.

“You’re okay, Buck,” Steve murmured, “we’re safe here.”

“As safe as we can be anywhere,” Bucky added.

“Yeah. But even if they come, we’ll be fine. We’ll find another place.”

“Okay,” Bucky said, breathing deep and going almost boneless in the embrace, “okay. As long as you stay with me, it’s okay.”

“I wanted to say the same,” Steve smiled and pressed a small kiss to the side of Bucky’s neck. “I’d never leave you, Buck. Not even death could do us part, remember?”

“I wish I didn’t. You were so goddamn stupid, Steve.”

“Well, I’m your stupid.”

“That you better be, punk.”

**This is the end of this storyline. If you want a different ending, you can go back to the previous chapters any time and choose a different way! Thank you for reading!**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: they have PTSD. Gosh, I wonder why?


	29. Chapter 29

From the moment Steve regained his consciousness, he knew something was very, very wrong.

He blinked his eyes open as the realization hit him. He was laying on his back and it wasn't… it was off, it was…

He wriggled his fingers.

_Human fingers._

He stretched his legs.

_Human._

That wasn't right. How did he ended up in a hum--

He sat up and looked over himself and swallowed.

He remembered this body. He recognized this body, no matter how long it had been since he hadn't inhabited it.

_He was in his own body._

In the serum-enhanced, muscular, healthy body of Captain America.

Steve took a deep breath, and his lungs expanded. He lifted his fingers in front of his face and wriggled them again and they moved on his command.

He raised to his feet, taking a tentative step forward, and couldn't help the confusion taking over his expression.

_He was in his supersoldier body again._

What--- how? How did this happen? And where was he? He tried to gather his last memories, but it was hard to think clearly. When was the last time he experienced his body like this? When there was no barriers between him and the body, no bumper of another consciousness, dormant or not? Everything was so vivid; the colors vibrant, the noises loud. His head hurt. Where was Bucky? He had been with Bucky, right? He thought he remembered that - they were on the run from something - but how could that be right? Bucky had fallen. And Steve did as well.

He died, right? No, that didn’t feel right, that…

The door opened and a woman stepped in and Steve turned toward her to ask her about all these things, but the questions stuck in his throat.

The woman was _off_ too, not right. The curls, the tie, the bra. There was no way someone would go out in the morning like that, let alone go to work.

Steve decided it was time to get out until he could regain his footings.

**To continue,[go to chapter 58.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46368349)**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: body dysphoria. Kind of...


	30. Chapter 30

It took more than four months for Bucky to feel good enough to not only look at Steve’s lips, but lean forward and press a hesitant little kiss on them, barely more than a touch, but Steve felt like his heart burst out of his ribcage with the ecstasy of this mute confession regardless of the time.

*

Being a couple in the twenty-first century apparently didn’t mean a lot of changes in their relationship. They’ve already slept together every night - now they had the chance to try the other meaning of sleeping together as well. They’ve spent most of their time together already, and it would have been physically impossible to raise the amount of that. When they decided to tell it to their friends, their response was mostly an eyeroll (“wow, it took you long enough to figure it out,” Natasha commented), some congratulations, and the general confusion over the fact that they haven’t considered themselves being together before. (“Come _on_ , you were _roommates!"_ Clint yelled, like it had some bizarre significance to their relationship status.)

**[Go to chapter 34.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46370632) **


	31. Chapter 31

“Last warning, Soldier. Stand down,” the man said.

Steve looked up at Bucky, and Bucky looked down at him. Bucky might not have recognized him as Steve, but it seemed that he recognized the stubbornness when he saw it. There was a flicker in Bucky’s eye - maybe a hint of knowledge, or defiance, Steve didn’t have time to think about it. Bucky pushed his lips together firmly, eyes dead serious, and gave the tiniest headshake.

Normally Steve wouldn’t listen to anyone asking him to stand down, let alone a Russian soldier with his heavy accent and heavier gun. But he wasn’t listening to the enemy: he was listening to Bucky, even when they couldn’t exchange words in the given circumstances.

They were outnumbered. Bucky was hardly standing on his feet, and what would Steve do? Take on a platoon of soldiers with machine guns in the body of a _wolf?_ Becca was a predator, but not a supersoldier. They couldn’t win. Not now, not in this scenario.

Steve understood it in a flash. 

They whined, a pitiful, high voice escaping their throat, but they laid down on their stomach when Bucky made a soothing little movement with his fingers. Bucky fell to his knees next to them, no strength left in him to lower himself slowly or gracefully, and he raised his hands.

A sadistic grin appeared on the lieutenant's face.

“Looks like you’ve got a pet, Soldier? How cute. And how convenient for us.”

Steve growled, but Bucky hissed under his breath, so Steve stayed where he was.

“Back to your cell, Soldier, and take your dog too, if it’s stupid enough to go with you.”

Bucky slowly got up. Steve spared one last look to the open door, and the world behind it. It was still the grey of the concrete of the base, but the air was full of the scent of the forest nearby. It was close, yet so far out of their reach.

Becca stirred the idea of leaving. Of getting their freedom and coming back for Bucky later, when a better opportunity would show itself. Hunting was about patience, after all, and if they had to outsmart other predators to get their prize… But one look at the lieutenant's face convinced Steve it wasn’t an option anymore. He still had a hard time reading emotions in people, but this was clear and easy. Hungry for blood.

If they'd decide to not stick to Bucky's side now, they'd be shot down immediately.

They couldn’t leave this base anyway, not now that they were in.

Steve followed Bucky, head bowed to not have to look at anyone, back to the cell.

**[Go to chapter 76.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46366366) **


	32. Chapter 32

Steve didn’t like the sound of this “next generation of professionals”, but honestly, what did he like about this place and about their handlers. Exactly nothing. And if he thought about it, training was at least nonlethal. It was better than the missions they usually had - well, the Soldier had and Steve tagged along because he dared with his fangs the bold ones who tried to stop him. Missions that always ended in blood. They made Bucky kill people for them, in every way they wished - sometimes it was gunshots, clear and far away, sometimes it was an explosion, something big and flashy to make a statement, and sometimes it was an assassination from the shadows, close and personal. 

When there were no details included about the method, Bucky usually chose the sniper rifle, and Steve almost liked that - being out and about for a few days, far from the base, pretending they weren’t bloody murderers for their enemies.

Honestly, training some goons should be way better than that, and easier on Steve’s conscience. He moved a bit and rested his head on Bucky’s lap, the comfortable position supposedly signalling his agreement.

Red Room. Sounded like an adventure ahead.

**[Go to chapter 61.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46368010) **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: general Winter Soldier angst, nothing out of ordinary.


	33. Chapter 33

In the end, they had found the cryofreeze tank in an abandoned storage building in upstate New York, among other crates and containers and stuff of Hydra. (Because apparently Hydra was the owner of the Winter Soldier now, and wasn’t Steve sick of that thought?) 

Steve decided to postpone any hunt for the organization in favor of taking care of Bucky.

Actually, Tony had found him, based on Natasha’s data about Hydra storage locations and the place’s outstanding electricity bill, because keeping the Soldier alive - even while frozen - apparently needed a lot of energy.

That part Steve didn’t care for. He only had eyes for Bucky’s shape through the small window, covered in frostwork and blocking proper view, he could only think about how to help his friend afterwards, he…

He was there when Bucky was woken up, he was the one who caught him when he practically fell out of the tube. He was the one to cover him in warm towels and blankets and reassure him that the nightmare was over, like he had wanted countless times during their captivity. 

He was the one Bucky came home to.

**[Go to chapter 16.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46370500) **


	34. Chapter 34

Seven months after first stepping into the Tower, Bucky was never missing out team dinners. Nine months, and he not only attended but enjoyed Tony’s private pool party despite his lack of weapons and clothes. A year after he had been found, Bucky got permission to go on missions with the Avengers.

On their second mission together when giant toads (and literally giant, like, ten feet tall ones) decided to swarm the city of Roanoke, Virginia, between two moments of cursing the creatures and yelling about how reckless Steve was, Bucky also proposed him. It definitely was a moment they’d happily tell the next generation about, whether the kids would be theirs or not, for the hilarity if nothing else.

Two years after Bucky was woken up in an abandoned Hydra storage facility surrounded by the Avengers ready to fight him, Bucky and Steve got married, surrounded by the Avengers ready to cry their eyes out for their happiness.

**This is the end of this storyline. If you want a different ending, you can go back to the previous chapters any time and choose a different way! Thank you for reading!**


	35. Chapter 35

Life in the Tower was easier than Steve expected. All of the Avengers had their smaller and bigger traumas, some that they’ve shared and some that were individual, but they learned how to work around those. 

Thor quietly got into the habit of taking off and folding up his cape whenever he visited them after he noticed how Clint flinched at the flutter of the fabric after sharp turns.

Natasha stopped sharpening knives if Steve was around, mindful of the sadness in his eyes - most members of the Commandos did that as well, caring with their weapons next to the campfire, including Bucky - and Steve missed the guys, but missed Bucky most of all.

Clint stopped turning up the volume on the tv to almost painful levels when Tony was around, after a few times Tony hastily left their company because of the noise.

Bruce tried to stay in their lines of sight, acknowledging that most of the team became skittish when there were movements at the corner of their eyes or behind their backs.

Tony cut down the science babble and focused on using smaller words when explaining things to them, and thanks to that change they were mostly able to understand his projects and passions, and once Tony realized they were impressed even when he didn’t try to make them sound even more grandiose than they were, his relationship with the team settled down properly.

Steve learned to change his behavior accordingly as well. He learned to ask before drawing someone, he learned to admit if he was startled or triggered, he learned to seek out the others’ company on sleepless nights. He learned to not be uncomfortable around them. He learned to open up to them.

The cuddle room, however, wasn’t his, but Thor’s idea.

**!ship -[Go to chapter 64.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46369813)**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: PTSD and traumatized people.


	36. Chapter 36

Weapon X sometimes herded Steve out. The Soldier didn’t stop them, just traced the path of the wolf with his eyes, motionless and tense. If Steve wanted to know more about Bucky’s treatment, he could guess it based on what happened to him.

They didn’t torture him for the sake of torture. They just… tried to tame him. To train him. It was basic behavioral conditioning, and Steve hated that he reacted to it, the body he was in betrayed him by learning the impulses, by answering to the rewards.

It didn’t mean he had to, as well.

But then there were the… other things. Things Steve didn’t understand. Scientists who tried to understand him, and the reason he acted differently from normal wolves. Scientists who wanted answers to his intelligence and to his bond with _the Soldier_ , never with Bucky, always the damned _Soldier_. Steve barely resisted the urge to bite them when they called Bucky that not-name. He didn’t do only because that would have given away that he understood them, and this fact was his only advantage over them, therefore he shouldn’t give it up.

All the talking of the scientists in the presence of Steve helped him understand the situation better. That was the upside of the experiments.

The downside, well.

He was taken back to Bucky’s cell barely conscious, drugged up and injured enough times for several lifetimes, in his humble opinion, and there was no way to tell how long would this hell last.

*

They tried to replace Steve with a trained dog.

Steve wasn’t really conscious at that time, so he didn’t see the occasion, only the aftermath, but that was enough to figure out the situation. Steve was taken away, as it often enough happened - Steve was experimented on, also not a novelty - the dog was probably thrown into the Soldier’s cell during that.

Steve had seen the dog’s corpse in their cell. It was a good enough lookalike, if someone kept in mind only the visual appearance. It smelled very different, though, so to Steve the heist was more than obvious, and even if it was trained to act the way Steve did, it probably couldn’t copy Steve’s gaze. At least Steve hoped.

Whatever gave the game away to Bucky, it didn’t matter as long as it did, and boy did Bucky go mad about it.

Steve had counted at least seven dead guards on their way when he was led back. He kind of regretted that he couldn’t be there to personally witness Bucky wrecking them for good.

**To continue reading,[go back to chapter 41](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46367104), where you've come from.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Steve, as a wolf, gets tortured and experimented on.  
>  **There is a dead dog in this chapter** , killed by the Winter Soldier, but we see only the aftermath, not the action itself. (We also see some human corpses, just saying.)


	37. Chapter 37

After the Battle of Manhattan, Steve’s life settled into a routine that kept him sane. He lived an almost ordinary life - if one can live an ordinary life while befriending a genius billionaire, a norse god of thunder, another genius who turns into a giant as a side gig, and two superspies.

He woke up the same time every day and went to run; then got a coffee that he drank with Nat; went into SHIELD and either learned about the world or spent his day with Clint; went home. He had movie nights, shared trainings, shopping runs and team dinners with the Avengers. He lived at Clint’s building in Bed Stuy and met Kate and Lucky and sometimes Steve missed the team dinner in favor of a rooftop barbecue.

His days he could control.

But he couldn’t get a grip of his nights - and during the nights, Steve was dreaming.

The dreams always shook Steve to his core. 

He never was a dreamer before - not as a skinny kid and not as Cap. He figured living his life was exhausting enough and his brain didn't need more action than that. He knew that some people had vivid dreams - if by nothing else, then because Bucky had always been eager to share his nightly visions first thing in the morning, while he drank his black coffee that Steve couldn't even look at without getting a stomachache. He hadn’t felt like he particularly missed out on anything, if Bucky's garbage dreams (in which he discovered that Jupiter tasted like cinnamon and Venice drowned in a flood and silly things like that) were anything to go by. 

But since the ice, Steve had been dreaming.

He dreamt of running on fours in a forest. He dreamt of a military base, cold and harsh grey concrete walls everywhere. He remembered of zigzagging between legs, small again, even shorter than he remembered being. He dreamed of wolves, staring at him with amber eyes almost glowing in the night. He remembered howling at the moon when it was full. He remembered the vivid taste of blood in his mouth. He dreamed of being free and wild and untamed.

But most of all, he dreamed about Bucky.

He dreamed about finding Bucky, bloody and thin and feverish in a cell. He dreamed about Bucky running next to him, he remembered that Bucky was slow but persistent. He remembered wolves running with them.

He remembered sinking his teeth in the deer and sharing the prey with Bucky. He dreamed of sleeping under the stars, hugged tightly to Bucky's chest.

He dreamed of being content and happy.

He woke up with such an ache in his chest that sometimes he had to check there wasn’t a physical hole in it.

But he got up and went on, because that was what he had always done.

**[Go to chapter 14.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46370710) **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: PTSD and depression.


	38. Chapter 38

Becca had a plan, and a better understanding of Steve’s situation than Steve had expected. Gosh, wolves were intelligent, and Becca was the brightest of them. Steve didn’t know how he got so lucky to have her as his partner for almost her whole life.

They looked for a wolf pack, and when they found one, Becca simply walked into the middle of the gathering and looked around, measuring the animals around them.

Her choice was a young grey male, strong both in body and will. A bit too strong, apparently. Steve spent only a few minutes in his head before he jumped back to Becca. The young gray didn't want anyone else in his head, and technically Steve could hijack his mind by force, but he didn't want to. He didn't want to constantly fight for control, he wanted a consenting partner.

In the end this partner became a female again, with ginger-brown fur on her back and white stripes on her stomach and chest. Steve called her Alice, and she liked it. Steve didn't withhold the downsides of his plan to go back to Bucky - he didn't keep it a secret that their life wouldn't be easy there, full of hurting and commands, but also comfort and familiarity and the company of Bucky.

Alice understood the need for a mate, and was on board, with her own additions: her own determination to act a certain way at certain situations, to defy the humans when they were jerks. Steve smiled in her head. _"We’ll be good friends and partners,"_ he thought.

**If you want to see more hurt/comfort in Steve and Bucky's daily lives,[go to chapter 80.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46370923)**

**If you want to see Steve and the Soldier’s first mission together,[go to chapter 9.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46367458)**

**If you want the story to progress,[go to chapter 12.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46367800)**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Becca is ready to die and Steve possesses a new wolf.


	39. (skull) Chapter 39

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains major character death. This is the darkest chapter in this whole adventure. Turn around and choose another route if you don't want to read this, please! Take care of yourself!

“Last warning, Soldier. Stand down,” the man said.

Steve looked up at Bucky, and Bucky looked down at him. Bucky might not have recognized him as Steve, but it seemed that he recognized the stubbornness when he saw it. There was a flicker in Bucky’s eye - maybe a hint of knowledge, or defiance, Steve didn’t have time to think about it. Bucky pushed his lips together and gave the tiniest nod.

Steve turned back to the soldiers in front of him. Becca was barely there at that point, giving up control to Steve, and Steve was livid and furious. He was looking forward to tear to these men. They took Bucky and hurt him. 

He leapt forward. Bucky not only followed him, but moved in unison with him.

But Steve wasn’t Captain America anymore, he didn’t have superhuman strength, agility, speed or reflexes - and Bucky was barely standing on his feet to begin with.

The bullets tore through Steve’s skin and ripped into his body with a force he didn’t expect. They spun his body a bit mid-air, and he fell to his side, howling in pain. The agony was real and solid, more real and solid than most bodily sensations had been since he crashed the Valkyrie. He scratched the floor helplessly as it took over his body. Becca was crying out with him, small and afraid in their head, and they turned their head just a little when Bucky’s body hit the ground next to them. 

Bucky looked at them, but he wasn’t making any sound. Bucky was..  _ smiling. _

At them. At the wolf that led him to this situation.

Bucky was bleeding so heavily and his body was beaten and he obviously didn’t have any energy left in him to lift his head, but he managed to reach out and touch the wolf’s side, bleeding with the bullet wounds. “My… heralding…” Bucky mumbled, already out of breath. Steve only heard him through his own huffing breathing because of his heightened animal senses. “Leading... Freeing me…”

Steve felt cold and his vision blurred and darkened at the edges but he kept his eyes open and stared at Bucky. That was the only comfort he could offer: his gaze that was steadier than his body, than his soul. He had failed but he owed this much to Bucky.

“Steve.” Bucky still held eye contact with him, and his voice was trembling like his body and he  _ still smiled. _ “You came. We’ll… be…”

He couldn’t finish.

The soldier who had been talking to them stopped next to them and looked down.

Steve collected whatever strength left in him, and leaned forward and bit the man’s ankle.

_ I’m so sorry. _

The shot to his head was mercy, and the world went black.

**This is the end of this storyline. If you want a different ending, you can go back to the previous chapters any time and choose a different way! Thank you for reading!**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Major Character Death.  
> Both of them. With no resurrection. I'm sorry!


	40. Chapter 40

The wolves were torn and bloody, but they stood straight, waiting for Steve and Becca. They were their pack leader, their alpha bitch, after all, and they had led them to battle that they won.

They froze for a moment, but Becca knew what to do, and Steve let her take the lead. She threw their head back, and howled.

Their howl was loud and victorious, a gorgeous and terrifying sound, primal and ancient yet new in the dawn, firstborn of the day. It echoed back from the concrete, making it louder, stronger. The long-drawn cry of triumph vibrated in the air alone for a few horrific moments, and then finally another wolf joined… and another… and another… until the howling pack were standing with heads tilted back, throats bared, lungs expanded, their voices united. Bucky stood next to them, in the middle of a pack of howling wolves, and from the corner of his eyes Steve saw the moment Bucky decided this might as well happen, threw his head back and howled with them too.

Part of the pack.

Becca approved.

**This is the end of this storyline. If you want to have more,[you can start a continuation reading from chapter 27](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46367713), or you can go back and change directions at any earlier point of the journey. Thank you for reading!**


	41. Chapter 41

“Soldier.”

That was the name Bucky was listening to. Not Bucky, not James, not Barnes. He didn’t even blink to those.

But he stood at attention whenever someone addressed him as Soldier.

Steve hated it. But he couldn’t do anything against it. The only thing - maybe - in his arsenal was his mere presence, and the vain hope that he could remind Bucky of a better, brighter time, that he could help him, that he could keep him alive.

If this was alive at all.

Steve wasn’t sure.

But there was this thing - Bucky acknowledged Steve’s presence. It was something he didn’t do with anyone else anymore if they weren’t his handlers. He didn’t look doctors and nurses in the eyes. He didn’t follow soldiers’ movements. He didn’t raise his head when people walked past him. Not unless he was ordered to.

But he watched Steve. From the corner of his eyes when there was a handler in the room, and openly when they were alone. His gaze was intent and sometimes Steve felt like it burned holes into him, but he looked back, hoping his gaze could give something to Bucky. A memory. A spark of joy. A bit of personality. Anything.

It was terrifying to find his best friend gone and something else being in his place, in his body, but Steve was stubborn and refused to leave. He was with Bucky, till the end of the line. Even if that meant that he had to bide his time until he could get his friend back to the empty shell his body became.

**If you want to take a detour and see more glimpses of Steve and Bucky's daily life on the base,[take a detour to chapter 11,](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46369186) then come back here.**

**If you want to see what happens to Steve when he's separated from Bucky,[take a detour to chapter 36,](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46368781) **then come back here.****

**If you want to see the Soldier getting the metal arm,[go to chapter 80.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46370923)**

**!skull - If you want to know how Steve stays with Bucky through the years,[go to chapter 20.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46367263) (TW: animal death of old age)**

****If you want to continue with the storyline and the Soldier's first mission,[go to chapter 9.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46367458)****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: general Winter Soldier warnings apply to this chapter and every chapter this leads to. Angst and torture and some tiny bit of comfort. It's always darkest before the dawn, right?


	42. Chapter 42

“Hey,” Bucky said softly, crouching down when Steve appeared in his vision. “There you are.” He extended his hand forward, fingers stretched out, and offered it to sniffle.

Steve’s heart made a little leap of joy that Bucky recognized him at first sight. He was in the body of a new wolf, with ginger fur and an attitude of a drunk sailor done with the world entirely, so the animal was more than happy to let Steve take the wheel and be in charge from now on. He wasn’t as young as Steve preferred his hosts to be at the beginning. However, an aged but willing vessel was way better than a young but resisting one. Also it had taken a while for Steve to find wolves in this area, wherever the hell they were with Bucky now, and he didn’t want to be away from Bucky even longer.

Steve smelled Bucky’s fingers and then walked closer calmly, letting his scent filling up the wolf’s senses. He knew that he’d be able to find Bucky if somehow they got separated, but it just felt nice to be this close to Bucky, to be filled with him, to be petted by him. Steve let out a happy whine when Bucky rubbed between his ears.

“I’m glad you came back, Stevie,” Bucky said.

To this day, Steve wasn’t sure if he meant his childhood friend Steve or the wolf he was now named after said childhood friend, but it didn’t matter, not really. He wasn’t that childhood friend anyway. He had the memories, but he was dead, and Steve was more like the ghost of him, traveling from body to body, wolf to wolf, in order to guard his former best friend who wasn’t his former best friend either.

They both changed. The events they’d lived through formed them into different people, with different issues and different lives.

And it didn’t matter at all as long as they were together.

They’ve been on the run for a long time now, never staying too long at a place, trying and failing to blend in and moving on when they gained too much attention. 

Sometimes Bucky hacked into bank accounts or they broke into Weapon X safehouses for supplies, but otherwise, they stayed out of the system. Bucky slowly relearned what being a human among the people truly meant, not only for a mission and for spying but for a living as well. Steve learned how to pass as a dog with wolf descendants, appearing as non-threatening as he could. Sometimes little kids petted him, and he loved that, his tongue lolling out in enjoyment. Sometimes kids noticed Bucky’s metal arm and they got overly excited.

Sometimes people saw Bucky and assumed he was a war veteran, a past soldier - well, they weren’t wrong about that. Sometimes this meant a free meal and kind words. Sometimes it meant terrified looks and a need for a quick exit.

Sometimes they stayed in the town and sometimes they sought out rural areas.

But no matter of the circumstances, they had one constant. They had each other, and they never tried to go separate ways, they never tried to leave each other behind. Steve would literally die again before letting that happen, and he was pretty sure that Bucky felt the same.

After a while, Bucky stood up and took his duffel bag - full of a spare set of clothes, lots of cash, some food and water, and plenty of weapons - and pointed toward a random direction. “What do you say we go that way, buddy?”

Steve yapped in agreement, and got going.

“So eager,” Bucky giggled and followed him.

**This is the end of this storyline.[If you want a continuation read, go to chapter 27.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46367713) If you want a different ending, you can go back to the previous chapters any time and choose a different way! Thank you for reading!**


	43. Chapter 43

He knew it wasn’t the smartest thing to do, but he was out of time, out of patience and out of fucks to give. He wanted Bucky back, _right now._ He didn’t care about anything else. They threw themselves to the door, over and over, again and again.

Until… 

It opened. 

It didn’t give in to the force they were putting into their attempts - it just opened with a loud click, as if someone had opened it from afar. Steve clawed at it until he was able to slide in through the gap.

There he was. They trotted to his side.

Bucky was almost naked, save for some ragged shreds that were more holes than fabric and not really able to cover him anymore. His bones were sticking out with how thin he had become, his skin was littered with bruises everywhere, a puffed-up eye disappeared under them. His hand was shackled to the wall, and by the color of his cheeks and the shine in his good eye, he must’ve been feverish. And… as he turned a bit toward the sound their claws made on the stone floor, his missing left arm was revealed as well.

Steve’s heart ached and their ribcage felt way too tight to keep it in place. He wanted to touch, but he wasn’t sure if there were a single spot they could touch Bucky without causing even more pain to him. He wanted to hold him in his arms, rock him and soothe him, tell him that the nightmare was over. 

Becca’s mind was shaking with rage as well. How dare anyone hurt who’s theirs? How dare they hurt Bucky? How dare they keep them away from him so long and how dare they not treat him well? This was not how anyone was supposed to handle a member of their pack.

Apparently, the humans had decided that Bucky wasn’t part of their pack. Too bad. So he belonged to the wolves now, just like Steve did.

**If you came to this chapter from chapter 60,[go to chapter 48.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46366780)**

**If you came to this chapter from chapter 62, you have two options: If you wish to see Steve finding Bucky,[go to chapter 45.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46366750) If you wish to see Steve finding the Winter Soldier, [go to chapter 41.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46367104)**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: physically hurt and tortured Bucky appears! Plus a loss of a limb. I know, shocking.


	44. Chapter 44

Steve didn’t like the sound of this. Whatever this “next generation of professionals” meant, Steve didn’t want Bucky to be involved with that. It was bad enough that they sometimes had to do missions, but training other soldiers like Bucky for the Russians…

No, Steve didn’t like the sound of that.

He got to his feet and growled at Bucky, ignoring the handler behind his back. Bucky wouldn’t let anyone hurt Steve without good reason.

Bucky slowly met Steve’s eyes, his glance slightly questioning, which was as much as he expressed emotions or confusion nowadays. Steve hadn’t done this before, hadn’t reacted to orders with this much disapproval. Sure, he had urged Bucky to run away every time they had been out in a mission, but Bucky never listened and Steve always followed him back to the base afterwards.

Bucky blinked.

The muscles in Steve’s legs tensed and he pulled his lips up to show fangs and he growled, louder, more insistent.

The handler behind him tssked with his tongue. “Looks like the mutt has a problem. Too bad,” the man sneered.

Bucky barely paid any mind to him, but he tilted his head. “You don’t want the Red Room?” he asked, so quiet that probably only Steve heard.

Steve yapped and pawed the ground, nodding with an exasperatedly large gesture.

Bucky pushed his lips together, considered the situation. Then he looked up, his movement sharp and sudden.

“Refuse,” he stated.

The handler was almost out of the door but the simple word made him stop, dead on his track. “What?” he gaped, glancing back over his shoulders.

“Refuse,” the Soldier repeated, standing up. Steve held his breath, heart beating vividly in his chest. “I have my missions. I do my part to make the world a better place. Training others is not part of my mission parameters.”

The handler spun around on his heels, pointing a threatening finger at them. “Your mission is whatever we say it is.”

“Incorrect,” Bucky said flatly, unflinching. “Refuse. No training.”

The handler’s skin definitely seemed to get a green shade, and Steve couldn’t decide if he wanted to laugh or howl triumphantly seeing that. The man didn’t try to argue, luckily, just turned around again and marched out. The door banged loudly behind him.

Bucky almost collapsed back into a sitting position, resting his face in his palm and taking deep breaths.

Steve snuggled him close and licked where he could. He wasn’t sure when was the last time he was this proud of Bucky.

**[Go to chapter 57.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46367956) **


	45. Chapter 45

Steve got through his hesitation and gently nudged Bucky’s right shoulder, close to the place where it met with his neck, and where seemed to be a bruise-free spot.

Bucky slowly raised his eyes until his gaze met Steve's, and weakly smiled up at them with bloodied teeth. “Oh hey there,” he whispered. “What a nice phantom you are. I like wolves.” He coughed, the sound rattling in his lungs threateningly. 

**If you want Steve to stay with Bucky,[go to chapter 76.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46366366)**

**!skull - If you want Steve to get Bucky out of here immediately,[go to chapter 66.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46366453)**


	46. Chapter 46

Steve and Bucky had been together since they were five and six year olds, respectively. They had been together through Steve’s illnesses as a youth, they’ve been together when they’ve lost parents, they’ve been through the thick of the second world war, and they’ve been through the treatments of Weapon X and the Red Room.

Okay, technically Bucky didn’t known that it was _Steve_ , but he still named his wolf _Steve_ , so he must’ve either remember the ghost of the friend from the past, or had the connection in his brain that Steve meant something of a relationship, something important. Steve wasn’t sure which one was true, but it didn’t matter, as long as he had Bucky, and they understood each other with Bucky.

They knew each other. They had a system of communication, signals to use, and that deep, almost empathetic emotional connection that Steve treasured the most, sensing each others’ moods and needs clearer than ever.

They looked out for each other, while Steve gently herded them to the right direction. Northwest.

He wasn’t sure how would he find the Valkyrie, but he had to try.

**[Go to chapter 52.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46368652) **


	47. Chapter 47

He was curious about the huge creature, its calm attracted him like a siren song. Steve reached out. It was a weird experience, not having a body – being almost liquid-like, flowing and stretching in nothing, without most of his senses. He didn’t see anything, he didn’t hear or taste or touch, but at the same time he kind of… did. He just did it differently, not with his body but with his consciousness.

There was some sort of sense intact, something that drew the movement to his attention, and it gave pure _information_ to Steve. He was able to translate that into his former experiences to some extent, but deciphering it was like stumbling around in an almost completely dark room and guessing the environment only by the vague shapes of different shades of black and gray.

Steve pushed himself closer to the huge thing.

It had a shape similar to a bullet, and it was even bigger than Steve had previously thought. Its mind was full of itself. As Steve slipped closer, that conviction became stronger and stronger, it filled Steve’s world and perception and he finally was able to tell what the creature was: a whale.

The whale’s blood ran even and slow in its veins, and the animal didn’t go anywhere in particular – it was good everywhere. Low, long rhythms of sounds wrapped themselves around Steve’s mind, pulling him in, **down** dOwN _down_ . Its heartbeat was loud, filling him up to the brink. Combined with the rhythm the sounds didn’t leave space for anything else, and just got louder and louder, and there was no difference anymore. Steve was inside the whale, and the whale was inside him, and there was no way to tell where one ended and the other started. But the whale was a _giant_ compared to Steve, its simple mass overwhelming.

Steve tried to turn around, but he couldn’t.

 _Why would I turn_ , something along these lines echoed in the mind of the whale. _The water is perfect here._

Steve tried to fight, but he had no body to move, and they were so calm and certain.

Why would he fight, really? They were right. There had everywhere to go, and nowhere to hurry. They had all of the ocean in front of them, around them. They could go anywhere, and the same dark blue would embrace them, they could swim anywhere and the same food would get into their mouth. They could dive deep to meet their kind or they could stay in the shallow waters to be alone: all was equally good.

Their heartbeat was strong and steady. The water around them comfortable, and full of food, and there was hardly anything else around them.

Steve tried to hit, to bang, to get out of the mind of the whale _– find Bucky!_ cried out in his head – but in a second or two, he again wasn’t sure why he would do that.

It was calm here.

Peaceful.

Steve didn’t come from a peaceful place – he wasn’t sure he even knew what peace was before this.

Just swimming. Just being.

It was overwhelming. Impossible to fight, because there was nothing to fight against. It was nice.

Steve drowned into the mind of the whale deeper, burrowing himself to the very depths, curling up on himself and sighing, content.

It was nice. He could rest here for a while.

**To continue this storyline,[please go to chapter 27.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46367713)**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: body dysphoria, kind of, coming from sharing a body of an animal. Which is admittedly weird to a human.


	48. Chapter 48

Bucky tried to protest, but Steve was persistent, and they nudged and annoyed Bucky until he got on his feet. He looked down at them. He looked so thin, and not only because of the missing limb.

“So now what, genius? I’m in a cell. It’s closed.”

Steve trotted to the door and pushed his nose to the gap until he was able to push it open. Bucky stood frozen in place, gaping and eyes huge. “I’m…” he gulped, took a step forward. “Are you a… spirit?”

Steve grinned up at him and lolled his tongue out. Bucky was always quick on his feet, but he didn’t expect him to catch up this fast.

“Never believed my dad’s stories about the fae, y’know.” Another step. He was at Steve’s side. Well, maybe he didn’t catch up that fast, not like Steve minded. “But I’m glad I was wrong.”

Steve blinked, slowly realizing what Bucky meant. He didn’t recognize Steve. But the Barnes family had some noble ancestors back in Scotland, and their crest, hidden under the parents’ bed, portrayed a pair of wolves. Out of the house, the Barnes kids weren’t allowed to talk about their roots, but inside Mr. Barnes told stories of old myths and young heroes. One of the stories told how a fae disguised as a wolf always showed up when family members were in danger, helping them out.

Bucky thought he was in one of those stories.

Well, Steve couldn’t blame him. It influenced his host choice as well, after all. He nudged Bucky toward the door. Bucky obeyed his gentle push, and they were out, walking down the deadly quiet corridor, until they were outside in the dim early morning light - in the crossfire of the glare of numerous eyes.

**[Go to chapter 40.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46366843) **


	49. Chapter 49

It wasn’t exactly easy to catch the tiny creature. Steve reached out. It was a weird experience, not having a body – being almost liquid-like, flowing and stretching in nothing, without most of his senses. He didn’t see anything, he didn’t hear or taste or touch, but at the same time he kind of… did. He just did it differently, not with his body but with his consciousness.

There was some sort of sense intact, something that drew the movement to his attention, and it gave pure _information_ to Steve, and he was able to translate that into his former experiences to some extent, but deciphering it was like stumbling around in an almost completely dark room and guessing the environment only by the vague shapes of different shades of black and gray.

It was enough to recognize that what he experienced was some sort of fish – he didn’t know enough about fishes to identify further.

Steve stretched his mind and grabbed the silver flash of the animal. His hold wasn’t physical, but it somehow worked, and he slipped… _into the fish_.

He didn’t have time to freak out. The poor creature threw itself to the side under his hold, and Steve felt like that time when he had to try and ride a horse without anyone explaining how. This poor fish wasn’t even a tamed animal to begin with.

Steve tried to hold it stronger, but the writhe of pain resonating through their body made him reconsider that. He had no intentions of hurting this poor animal. He didn’t want to harm themselves, he just… what was he trying to do, anyway?

 _It’s okay,_ Steve tried to think, to project it to the fish. _I’m a friend?_

He was pretty sure that the words didn’t matter – why would a fish understand English? – but the intentions did, and while they were still in motion, swimming forward furiously in the water with no directions in it, their mind calmed down to some extent.

 _Where are we going?_ Steve tried to ask, but there was no answer – or if there were, he had no capacity to understand it. But the fish seemed to know what it was doing, so Steve didn’t try to stop it. It was better to be with a fish than to float around in the ocean alone, right? At least the fish was able to move.

And while Steve didn’t want to cause any harm to the unfortunate animal, he needed to find out as much about his new condition as he was able. He moved around a little bit in their shared mind, exploring the tiny intelligence under his influence. He imagined strengthening his grip on the fish’s mind, and he felt himself curling around it more firmly. He didn’t sense any particular distress, though the fish sure as hell felt confused.

 _Stop_ , Steve ordered, pushing his commanding tone into the mental direction now that he had no voice to speak.

They stopped. Nice.

Steve took – well, he took _something_ the equivalent of a deep breath, since he didn’t have lungs, and anyway, his gestures were more in his head than ever before – and tried again. _Go ahead._

The fish obeyed.

**To continue this storyline,[please go to chapter 63.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46365589)**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: body dysphoria, kind of, coming from sharing a body of an animal. Which is admittedly weird to a human. But luckily Steve is the dominant one.


	50. Chapter 50

Going on in the future was hard, but it was the nature of things. It was what life was about. Steve couldn’t just stop and he couldn’t just roll around in his grief and doubts.

Well, he had both of those. He had lost everything - his world, his time, his friends - and sometimes he felt he had lost his mind too. He remembered, maybe too vividly, the time right after the crash - the strange, non-corporeal experience. To this day he wasn’t sure if it was true or not - if it was nothing more than a product of vivid imagination that needed to come up with this shit to help his brain deal with the events, or if it was real, and he had indeed spent the last decades imprisoned in another living being.

Not like it mattered, right? He was here, he was out, and he likely wouldn’t ever go back to… wherever his mind had been.

Plus, within weeks of his awakening in the future, he had fought an alien army led by a Norse demigod, so his bar of plausibility was pretty high nowadays, so why not? 

Still, when the shrinks asked if he remembered something, he lied. He told them that his last memory was the crash. It was easier. At first, he didn’t trust them, and didn't trust himself either, and later it would have been much ado for nothing to admit the lie. He kept it up with the Avengers too, because why wouldn’t he? They didn’t ask at least, so it wasn’t a lie, obviously.

Well, he kept it as a secret until one drunken night with the Avengers, loosened up by Thor’s mead brought as a gift and comforted by the presence of his unit.

No one laughed at him. Tony and Bruce got into an enthusiastic (to them at least) science theory about the possibility. Thor congratulated him for his developing abilities, assuring him that Loki started his sorcery the same way (which wasn’t reassuring _at all_ ). Clint mused how Steve was able to have this opportunity and land in the most boring places of all instead of something cool, like a shark or a tiger. Natasha just slipped closer and entwined her fingers to his, squeezing a bit, offering her quiet comfort.

Steve loved her especially in that moment.

**To continue this storyline,[go to chapter 35. ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46369750)**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: PTSD and depression


	51. Chapter 51

Well. Apparently, SHIELD was also Hydra.

Apparently, Steve and Natasha and Clint had been working for their worst enemies - for more than two years now, in Steve’s case. He didn’t even want to calculate the time for the others.

Steve was furious, and desperate, and with the help of the Avengers, he tore the fucking thing down to the ground.

What he didn’t expect was the surprise under the mask of the Winter Soldier: a too familiar face, torn and haunted but still recognizable among a million for Steve.

Steve fought the Soldier while he had to, and when the world was safe, he stopped and let Bucky beat the everloving shit out of him, because there was no way in hell he’d kill his best friend, or let his team do it.

And Bucky stopped. Maybe at the last moment, but he… stopped.

He fished Steve out of the river, and threw his barely conscious body to the feet of the Avengers. After that Bucky raised his metal hand (he couldn’t raise his right, after Steve dislocated his shoulder) and surrendered with the condition that he wouldn’t be separated from Captain America until he woke up.

Steve registered through the fog and haze that Iron Man accepted the deal, then he promptly passed out properly.

**!ship -[Go to chapter 54.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46370008)**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: general CA:TWS warnings.  
> Also, this storyline will end with polyavengers, so if you don't like polyships, it's not too late to turn around and chose a different route.


	52. Chapter 52

It was extremely weird to look down at his own frozen body.

“Steve,” Bucky muttered.

Steve, in the body of a wolf, looked up at him, but Bucky stared at the body they’d found and dragged out from under the icy wreck of the Valkyrie. It was a damn miracle - Bucky not only able to acquire equipment for this purpose, find the plane and bring Steve’s body to the surface, but the possibility that Steve might not be _dead_.

Just… in cryofreeze.

Steve wondered if Bucky’s soul had been wandering around the world all the time he was put in ice as well, but that was too huge and too painful of a thought.

Bucky finally tore his eyes from the body, and looked at the wolf at his side.

“Steve?” he asked, more softly this time. 

Steve met his eyes, and smiled a wolf’s smile, trying to soften his expression as well, allowing his eyes to show all the love and adoration he had felt for Bucky.

Bucky caressed his head gently.

“Let’s wake you up, buddy. You’ve slept long enough.”

**!ship - If you’ve come here from chapter 3,[go to chapter 19.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46368841)**

**If you’ve come here from chapter 46,[go to chapter 28.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46368916)**


	53. Chapter 53

Steve waited under the creature disappeared. As much as it seemed suitable for sneaking onto the ship, Becca’s reaction made Steve cautious. It seemed like a completely normal, ordinary ginger cat, but the wolf’s instincts were more fine-honed than his. She was usually right when she sensed danger.

And apparently this encounter sparked the original determination back to roaring life in her. She put all four paws firmly on the ground and his thoughts protested.

_No._

They couldn’t communicate with words, it was more intimate than that, closer to hearts and not exact like science, but her determination was clear and burning.

_Find Bucky._

She turned around, not listening to Steve’s protests, and started to trek back to their original direction. Her mind radiated disapproval, because the track was cold and hard to follow when they got there, and now they’d need to find another one. At least they had a basic idea where to begin, which was more than what they’d started this quest with.

Becca almost sighed in their head, more relieved and calm as soon as they were out of the bustle of the artificial environment. She trotted through the suburban area with more confidence, and chose the eastern direction.

_Find Bucky._

This was Steve’s dying wish, and still the drive, stronger or weaker depending on the host, in every creature he was inside.

Becca was smart, and proud, and the best hunter. She was confident she could finish this mission.

**For continuing the story,[please go to chapter 73.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46365976)**


	54. Chapter 54

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: fluff and polyavengers.

Everyone expected trouble to arrive with Bucky.

Everyone was wrong.

Of course, there  _ were _ bad things. Like the hoarding. Or the weapons that went missing and turned up attached to Bucky somehow, despite him being on strict no-weapon policy. Or the time when he wandered the Tower at night like a ghost and startled Bruce so badly that he Hulked out. Or the time when he played fetch with DUM-E and broke not one, not two, but three Iron Man armors in the process with the clumsy bot. Or the times when he laid on the rooftop and eyed the traffic down through binoculars instead of the lens of a sniper rifle. Or the nightmares. Or…

But. Besides those things.

Bucky fit in surprisingly well, which probably said more about how traumatized everyone was than of Bucky’s ability to shake off seventy years of torture. Admittedly he didn’t do badly on that department either.

From the first night that Steve was healed, Bucky slept with Steve, curled around him, shielding him.

From the second week, he ate with the team during dinners. He accompanied them for movie nights after the fourth week. He stripped down to join them in the pool on their first summer together, barely three months after him moving in.

What made wonders was the cuddle room, though. 

Bucky, as touch-starved as he was, basically moved into the cuddle room for days and came out only when he had to eat (food generally wasn’t allowed in there, which was the most ignored rule of all). Steve figured that the rules helped Bucky a lot - they defined the framework he could adjust himself to, and therefore made accepting touches easier for him. He kept two steps distance from everyone but Steve when out of the room, but inside there?

Bucky became the clingiest of all, and no one had a single complaint against it.

Even Tony let Bucky scoop him up and pull the genius to his chest, and Bucky was always so careful not to cause any harm with his strength or his metal arm, but he cuddled his victim for hours straight, without a break. Jarvis said that Bucky’s pulse only slowed down to normal rhythm when he was snuggling someone, and the team was happy to provide to Bucky’s needs.

They stopped pretending to not be together after the fourth month. It wasn’t a conscious decision. 

But Bucky said “kiss him already”, pointing to Steve but aiming the words to Tony who was giving bedroom eyes to Steve, and of course Tony obeyed, and the kiss became obscenely long and deep and passionate counting that they were in company.

Bucky just nodded.

“I knew it,” he stated, like it was an obvious fact, and looked at Bruce and Clint who were practically at each others’ laps, “you don’t have to pretend for me.”

So the five of them crawled closer together, sharing each others’ space and body heat and touches and kisses back and forth. “We should call in Nat and Thor too,” Steve lazily suggested, laid out on Bucky’s lap and satisfied with kisses given by Clint, Thor and Tony at equal amount. “They’re missing out, they deserve to be here as well.”

Instead of answering, Clint turned his gaze to Bucky, whose contribution to the scene so far had been that he was Steve’s pillow. “You’re missing out too,” he said casually.

Bucky tensed up.

Steve straightened up as a reaction, and Bucky soothed him with resting his palms on Steve’s shoulders. “I’m not… part of this,” he said after a pause. “And I don’t wanna interrupt anything.”

“How could you interrupt anything, Buck,” Steve snapped, ready to throw his everything into an argument, but Bruce stood up and waved Steve’s interruption away.

“The real question is, do you want to be part of this or not?”

Steve stared back at Bucky steadfast when Bucky’s gaze landed on him, and Bucky couldn’t hold it for long, needing to turn away, but Tony and Clint and Bruce looked back at him as well. No one averted his gaze, no one feigned shyness, and no one showed any sign of doubt.

“You’re part of this family,” Tony finally spoke up, “and we’re a very dysfunctional family not because everyone loves and shares the others and you can have anything you want as long as it’s consensual, but because we’re all traumatized as hell. Basically. So. We’re open to adding you to the roster, Snowflake, but you have to take the first step.”

Bucky shook his head and didn’t do that first step then and there. 

No one hurried him.

But a week and a half later at night, alone with Steve in their shared bed, Bucky raised to his elbows and whispered, “I wanna kiss you, Stevie.”

Steve blinked in the darkness, a smile spreading over face. “Go ahead, Buck. Or do I need to do that for you, too?” he joked, and Bucky leaned down and pushed his lips to Steve’s to make him shut up, and Steve’s world became whole again.

He had everything in the universe he could wish for.

**This is the end of this storyline. If you want a different ending, you can go back to the previous chapters any time and choose a different way! Thank you for reading!**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: fluff and polyavengers.


	55. Chapter 55

Well. Apparently, SHIELD was also Hydra.

This was revealed by the combined efforts of Tony, who almost made a sport of hacking into intelligence agency systems; Clint and Natasha, who combined old-timey spy methods with their modern training; and Steve, who kept remembering all the classified information from his time spent with Peggy as her cat. Or, well, being in her cat, who wasn't a cat either… nevermind.

Apparently, Steve and Natasha and Clint had been working for their enemies for a good while.

Steve was furious, and desperate, and with the help of the Avengers, he was ready to tear down the fucking thing to the ground. Slow-going at the beginning, with covert operations meant to lure their enemies out, but he was ready to openly storm the whole fucking organization in the end, after they attempted an assassination against Fury.

To Hydra’s misfortune Tony got word of the attempt in time to counter the it and with good teamwork, Steve, Natasha and Tony subdued the attacker and took him into custody while Clint escorted Fury into safety.

Steve was ready to deal with anything Hydra could throw at him, except this. 

He wasn't ready for the surprise under the mask of the Winter Soldier: a too familiar face, torn and haunted but still recognizable among a million others for Steve.

Whatever the Winter Soldier expected his opponents to do once he was captured, probably wasn't this. Wasn’t Steve turning into a sniffling mess barely suppressing his tears and hugging the everloving shit out of a shocked Bucky.

And the Winter Soldier stopped fighting against them. 

**!ship - To continue,[go to chapter 54.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46370008)**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: General CA:TWS warnings.  
> The next chapter will be polyavengers.


	56. Chapter 56

In the end, they’ve met each other halfway. 

In the end, Bucky got word of Steve Rogers’ return among the living, and headed to New York.

They’ve met in the New York State Zoo at Thompson Park, in front of the wolf kennels. 

Steve was waiting there, every instinct and every intel and every little sign Bucky had left for him telling that Bucky would show up there. So he was sitting on a bench with his arms braced behind the backrest, unarmed and in civilian clothes, his eyes shadowed with sunglasses and a baseball cap.

Bucky showed up out of nowhere, probably studying Steve for a long time earlier. Steve stood up and stepped next to him. Their shoulders brushed, and Bucky stilled for a second - Steve knew, sensed that Bucky was armed and almost pulled a gun on him, but he didn’t care. Especially not when in the next moment, Bucky wrapped his arm around Steve’s shoulder.

He turned his head and smiled at Bucky, and Bucky turned as well, slowly, like he was afraid of dreaming, afraid of it turning into a nightmare if he took a sudden movement, but when their eyes met, Bucky’s smile, that trademark wide grin that Steve remembered so well, brightened up on his face.

“I knew it,” Bucky whispered.

Steve slipped his hand to Bucky’s.

The metal was both familiar and alien to touch - Steve thought that he had only encountered it before as a wolf, and his human skin felt textures differently. He still wasn’t sure if his time as a wolf was real or not, but... But he knew this hand. Knew that it belonged to Bucky, and though Bucky was used to do terrible things in the past, it wasn’t his fault. He had no choice - neither of them did, and it partly was Steve’s fault, his presence giving leverage to Weapon X and power over Bucky, and Steve had to live with that knowledge and that burden. 

But they were both out, free and human after not being one for so long.

“I don’t understand anything,” Steve admitted.

Bucky snorted. “Welcome to the damned club, Rogers. One day I have a wolf, happy and tame, and the next it tries to bit my hand off and runs away. I was devastated until I got word of you. Then I realized.”

Steve drank Bucky’s words. “Realized what?”

“You’ve been the wolf all along. Somehow. I don’t care how, but you were there with me.”

“I don’t really remember,” Steve warned. “It’s very hazy. The memories, I mean.”

Bucky’s grin widened even more. “Then again, welcome to the club, pal.”

**To continue this storyline,[go to chapter 17.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46369354)**


	57. Chapter 57

Steve couldn’t keep track of days, months, years.

The life in the base was always the same. The wolves never lasted long. Missions were - thankfully - few and far in between.

It was good to be with Bucky but Bucky wasn’t always available and Steve couldn’t help but stick around, his urge to be with Bucky too strong to overcome, guarding the cryofreeze tank where they’ve put Bucky, waiting for the time when they’d wake him up.

It was quite a miracle Weapon X didn’t try to freeze Steve too, but apparently the scientists found that he wouldn’t survive it, and he was more valuable alive, as a tool to keep the Soldier calm and in check. (Steve hated this and he bit off the hand of a scientist once when the man tried to pull him away from the tube. No one tried again.)

He was next to the tube as well when it happened. Something yanked at him, something invisible and way more powerful than Steve had felt in a long time. He tried to reach out to the wolf’s mind again, tried to dig his heels to the ground and grab it for leverage, but his mental hands slipped and he was ripped out of the body he had inhabited for so long, torn away and dragged through nothing so violently that he couldn’t help but black out.

**To continue this storyline,[go to chapter 27.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46367713)**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: general Winter Soldier angst.


	58. Chapter 58

Steve did his best to not act out recklessly. His best was not really good, though.

Two weeks after being defrosted, and doing his damn best to figure out if he had a very vivid hallucination or his experiences as a wolf could be real, to figure out if there was a chance that Bucky would be out there for him to find, he ended up fighting against aliens with a bunch of other weird people.

He felt more at ease in the heart of the battle than he had felt during those two weeks earlier. That probably told a lot about him, and a shrink would analyze that to hell and back, but Steve wasn’t one to dwell on it too long.

After the battle, Steve accepted Tony’s invitation to live in the Tower (there was enough space intact that they could comfortably settle down even during the renovations), and so did the others.

Life in the Tower was easier than Steve expected. All of the Avengers had their smaller and bigger traumas, some that they’ve shared and some that were individual, but they learned how to work around those.

Steve didn’t spend as much time in the Tower as the others, though. He took trips, he because he had to find someone...

**If you want to read a bit more about the life in the Tower,[take a detour to chapter 35,](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46369750) then come back here and continue reading.**

**To continue this storyline,[go to chapter 56.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46369249)**


	59. Chapter 59

“Is there a problem?” Kaprov asked, threat clear in his voice. Steve widened his stance, ready to jump to Bucky’s protection.

“No.” Bucky’s tone was flat and emotionless. The Soldier’s voice. If Steve had any hope before that Natalia’s fate might be able to get Bucky to go against orders, this was able to show him he was wrong. Bucky had been without choice for decades now, too long lost under the programming, unable to fight himself to the surface, not even for Natalia.

The Soldier adjusted the ropes and twisted the knife in his hand, placing a small, barely visible cut on her broken and swollen forearm’s skin.

Steve looked away and closed his eyes. He tried to breathe, but the smell of blood - of Natalia’s blood - was too strong in his nose. Natalia was their student, their ally, their _friend._ This was wrong on so many levels, and while their life was usually wrong on many levels, it surpassed that.

Steve looked back, meeting her eyes with his, holding her gaze as steadily as he could.

He gave the barest nod. Natalia answered with a twitch of one corner of her lips.

Steve started pacing the room, growling at the men around him.

The attention immediately turned, both Bucky and the guards looking at him, and that was all Natalia needed. Steve couldn’t look as she slipped out from her bonds, aiming for the door, using all of her skills to be as unnoticeable as she could, while Steve slammed his body into a guard, not hurting him but causing enough of a distraction.

Bucky pointed his knife at the offended guard, and only dragged Steve back off of the man when he was ordered to.

Natalia was long gone, though, and Kaprov basically saw red.

“You should’ve kept your dog in check, Soldier!” he raged, all weapons pointed at the pair of them. “I guess you two will have to face the consequences instead of Widow now.”

**To continue this storyline,[go to chapter 13.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46368394)**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Natasha is still injured, and the Soldier/Steve is threatened.  
> I decided not to put in a chapter with detailed torture in the end, I let that to your imagination and jump straight to what happens after.


	60. Chapter 60

It hurt, physically hurt, but Steve turned around and ran. He needed a plan. He needed a way to get in, and to get Bucky out - and he couldn’t do that alone and as a wolf. He needed… something. First of all, a bit of time to come up with a viable tactic.

He fought his way out. He was pretty sure he wounded a few people fatally, but he didn’t stop to check it. He got hurt too, at least two bullets grazed him and one of the soldiers managed to cut him with a knife, but he got out and was able to retreat into the woods.

He found a good spot close to a brook, where he could heal and think. What did he have? He had fangs and claws, but he didn’t have weapons, and he didn’t have allies.

Becca perked up at the thought, her thoughts ambiguous but livid. Steve sent a questioning impulse to her direction, and she shook herself, answering with the memory of a bunch of smells and voices and the feeling of fangs on another wolf’s neck.

Slowly, slowly Steve realized what that was supposed to mean.

He rolled to their side, starting to form a plan with Becca’s help.

*

After they healed, they started to look for wolf packs.

Becca was a good fighter and a good leader. With Steve inside her head as her ally, she became even more outstanding.

A pack became theirs, and then another. It grew in strength and numbers, until Steve was satisfied with it. He learned to distribute his will among them, to share his determination with them, until they were united in one goal, a goal that all of them could understand and stand behind.

_Get their territory back from the humans._

*****

The base never stood a chance. The pack swarmed then, guided by Steve’s determination and deadly fury, and with his and Becca’s commanding presence in the front. Wolves were deadly silent when on rampage, they didn’t bark and yelp when they chased a prey and they weren’t showing off. They did what got the job done. They were vicious and effective, an avenging force of nature against the humans who were invading their territory.

Steve charged inside. Becca shared his enthusiasm.

_Find Bucky._

They zigzagged the corridors, following scents and voices, ignoring people when they could, until they found the door.

**[Go to chapter 43.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46366222) **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Steve gets shot. Not seriously, but I thought I'd mention.  
> Also, bad guys die in this. Non-graphic description, but rest assured it's painful.


	61. Chapter 61

Okay, it wasn’t an adventure. Steve soon realized that the Red Room wasn't any better than Weapon X, and all they've done was switching from one circle of hell to the other.

The Red Room indeed trained future operatives. So future, in fact, that they weren’t even adults yet, just fucking kids, age ranging from three to twenty-three by the time they arrived to the base.

Bucky luckily didn't have to work with the smallest children - but they got a class of twelve-year olds, who were already trained to be quiet and attentive. Bucky didn't speak much, but he showed every technique he knew, step by step and as many times as necessary, not minding the repetitions any bit. The kids learned fast.

The classes got smaller and smaller for each age group. There were more than twenty twelve year olds. There were only eight fourteen year olds.

And only three sixteen year old girls.

The most remarkable of them was the Czarina, Natalia.

While Bucky showed deadly techniques to the smaller children and gave blending in lessons to the middle classes, sixteen years olds were close to their “graduation”. And that meant one-on-one sessions with the Soldier - learning all and every kind of knowledge from him.

**[Go to chapter 15.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46368085) **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: general Winter Soldier angst.  
> Do I still have to tag this? I mean, you know what you're up to with this character, right?


	62. Chapter 62

Steve followed the scent, too impatient to care anymore about the people - soldiers, scientists - around him. He dashed between them if necessary, growled at everyone he passed regardless of their smell or look. They weren’t his - weren’t theirs. But Bucky was theirs. Becca agreed and speed up as they sprinted through a basement corridor.

And there it was. A locked door. Steve pawed it, whining, scratched the wood that didn’t give under his onslaught. He never had wished to have opposable thumbs again as much as he did in this moment. If he could open that damn door… Bucky was on the other side. He knew, he sensed, he smelled, he _knew._

**!skull - If you want Steve to keep trying to get into the cell,[go to chapter 43.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46366222)**

**If you want Steve to retreat and have a moment to come up with a plan,[go to chapter 60.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46366714)**


	63. Chapter 63

Slowly but steadily Steve had learned the rules of his new kind of existence.

He couldn’t be without a body for long. Well, not unless he wanted to go mad – he needed the physicality to be able to deal with the world. The amount of completely undecipherable information he got otherwise was too overwhelming, to put it lightly, and it drove his consciousness to seek out the closest host even by force if necessary.

Or, in one notable time, Steve got stuck in a tree for what felt like an eternity until a deer came close enough to jump into that instead.

There were some rules that made sense. The difficulty of working with an animal type aligned with the level of its neural development. Mammals were the easiest, reptiles he could work with, birds were okay, but anything else was out of the question. The size of the animal mattered too. And for some reason predators were better than prey.

There were things that Steve couldn’t unveil the logic behind, like why some kinds were eager to cooperate and others fighting for control constantly. Steve would remember that one hedgehog full of spite and anger for the rest of his days, probably.

Time was hard to keep track of. He would be able to count the days, but there wasn’t really a point in doing that. He tried to keep track of the seasons, but he could do that only while in the right host animal for the time being. It happened one too many times that Steve intended to change from one animal to the other and found out that what felt like a few minutes to him meant a completely different time period in reality.

He usually had only limited control over the actions of the animals. He could make decisions for them, but couldn’t completely override their main instincts; he could shift their priorities, but couldn’t turn them off completely.

He had found that his favorite hosts were wolves.

He had many reasons to like wolves. Their thinking was quite similar to humans’ and dogs’ – enough that Steve understood them better than most animals. They were strong, resilient, had great stamina, and were alpha predators in the continent so Steve didn’t have to worry about violent threats or other animals. They were intelligent – to the level they could, to some extent, accept or reject his presence. Steve liked the thought that by listening to this he could get his host’s consent for his stay. He could build up a partnership with wolves.

And there was one more reason, one that Steve wouldn’t ever admit to anyone else.

Wolves were part of the Barnes clan crest. By picking a wolf, Steve felt like he was closer to Bucky.

Speaking of – Steve got on their four paws, yawning and stretching after their rest. Since he had first possessed that fish, all animals, regardless of type, gender, or anything else, got a new determination from him. It wasn’t intentional, and while Steve had nothing against it, he found frustrating that he had no control over it.

It even took him a while to figure out what the subconscious command was, but once he did, he couldn’t understand how he missed it in the first place.

Right now, they pressed their nose on the snowy ground, catching all the scents they could.

_Find Bucky. Be with Bucky._

It was easier said than done, thank—

They froze. The scent they picked up wasn’t familiar to Steve – he had never sniffed Bucky with the nose of a wolf, after all. But he _knew it_. He recognized it – somehow, the information was there in his mind.

The scent was faded, so old that even the wolf – Steve called her Becca simply for the need to be able to call her something – couldn’t tell how old it was. Her experience whispered that it would be very hard to follow it, and not worth it. How could any reasonable prey be on the other end of a trail this vague?

But the drive and determination was in the wolf, as well as in all of Steve’s hosts: _find Bucky_.

And that determination now lit up in their mind like a beacon.

But even as they started to carefully follow the trail, doubt swept into Steve. Would they be able to follow the track? What would they find in the end of it? Was Steve prepared to face Bucky’s broken body, even if they managed to get there? And if – it was crazy to even think about it – if some miracle was working in favor of them, if Bucky wasn’t dead, then what? What could Steve do as a wolf, bark at him?

He forced themselves to slow down even more, and looked to the direction of the setting sun. What if… what if?

If he wasn’t ready to face his loss, he had one more person he could think of, someone who he might want to meet again.

He looked to the sunrise-direction where they were heading according to their route so far, then back to where they came from. The wolf took a step forward to the East, even as Steve stared in the opposite direction.

Would it make sense to go and find Peggy instead?

**!ship - If you want Steve to seek out Peggy instead of Bucky,[ please go to chapter 10.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46365631)**

**If you want Steve to continue their search for Bucky,[please go to chapter 73.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46365976)**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: mention and thinking of Bucky's death, grief.


	64. Chapter 64

The cuddle room was covered in soft things: carpets that sank under their feet, blankets that were made of the finest materials, couches with cushions filled with real feathers, bean bags and pillows and stuffed animals.

All sharp things were forbidden and everyone got into the room only if they were currently okay with accepting and giving touches to each other.

They developed a few rules with time, but the main idea remained the same: having a safe place where they could seek comfort, where they could cure the touch starvation that most of them had, where they could feel safe and soft and loved.

Steve didn’t expect himself to spend that much time in the room, but he was a supersoldier, and the serum in his DNA enhanced everything - including, apparently, his need for touches and the intensity with which he felt and enjoyed said touches.

It became his favorite place in the entire world, including Brooklyn (well, it wasn’t the same without the Dodgers, was it?). The others must have agreed because there always was at least one of them hanging around, reading a book or listening to music through headphones or just sleeping curled up on a beanbag. (Steve once asked Natasha if she even had her own room, because it seemed she always slept in here. Her green eyes just sparked at him and she smiled as an answer, and Steve had to check with Tony that yes, Romanoff not only had her own room but she had full access to Clint’s as well.)

The hugs got tighter, warmer with time. From careful handholding to clinging to each other like desperate octopi, from shy blushes to shameless draping over the partner, Steve felt most of the ice finally leaving his body.

The next step wasn’t as obvious as it seemed, none of them wanting to ruin what they already had, and it was Thor again who was the wisest of them all, simply leaning down during a cuddle room day and kissing Clint on the mouth. Because he wanted to, because he would rather apologize than feel sorry, because he came from a culture where this wasn’t a big deal - it didn’t really matter after the fact, especially not after Thor kissed Tony too and then Natasha and Bruce and Steve at last.

And from that point, everything got even better between the six of them.

**!ship - If you’ve come to this storyline through chapter 47 or 71,[go to chapter 51.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46369900)**

**!ship - If you’ve come to this storyline through chapter 4,[go to chapter 55.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46370092)**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: tooth-rotting fluff :)  
> Also, it'll end in polyavengers, so if polyships are not your thing, it's not too late to turn back and chose a different reading.


	65. Chapter 65

It was time to let them in on the secret, he knew. So with his heart beating in his throat and his palms sweating with nerves, Steve told them about his time in the ice.

How he became kind of a spirit, wandering in the world and possessing animals, especially wolves.

How he accompanied the Winter Soldier.

Natasha straightened up. “I’ve heard about you,” she whispered. “I’ve heard about the Soldier’s hellhound.”

“I have to find him,” Steve simply answered.

“Well, good luck with that,” Clint snorted. “Nat has been trying that for ages.”

“But he’s gone, Steve. Nothing indicates he’d have been on a mission for a while.”

“He’s frozen,” Steve explained, “he’s waiting and I have to find him. He’ll need me.”

The Avengers exchanged a look, then Bruce nodded and Tony spoke up. “Alright, Cap, you got it. This means we’ll have to look for one hybernated man, out of the seven billion currently populating the planet, held prisoner by a supersecret spy organization, right?” Well, when Tony phrased like that, Steve started to have his own doubts about the possibility of the task, but that didn’t mean that he’d ever give up _trying._ He wasn’t sure if Tony saw something in his face, or the intro was just the lead up for him to grin and state, “easy-peasy, Cap. Give us a week with the Dynamite Duo.”

Steve realized belatedly that the warmth in his chest was the mixture of pride and hope.

**[Go to chapter 33.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46370353) **


	66. Chapter 66

Steve’s patience ran out, and Becca was on the same page. It was enough. Bucky had suffered enough. This could not stand.

They had to get Bucky out of here immediately. They had to take care of the only other member of their pack so far. They had to bring him to safety and they had to keep him warm and protect him until he healed.

They barked urgently. They paced toward the door, then came back.

Bucky’s pale smile faltered more.

“I can’t,” he whispered.

Steve huffed and took Bucky’s hand between their teeth, pulling him gently and carefully. Out, out, out of here. He wasn’t sure if it was his human mind or the wolf’s instincts that urged him more.

“A’right, buddy,” Bucky sighed, and he struggled to get on his feet. Steve’s heart took a joyous leap at the address, until he realized Bucky didn’t recognize him. Which was fair. Why would he expect Steve to show up as a _wolf_? That was a bit of a stretch of imagination even after and from Captain America. “If ya insist… just don’t be too surprised when it fails,” Bucky added, once on his feet, swaying dangerously to the sides as he tried to walk straight.

Steve wondered if he had broken bones. He couldn’t really check anything without hands.

They walked to the door, and Steve was honestly surprised to find it still open. But don’t look a gift horse in the mouth, after all. Steve could worry about it when it caused trouble instead of ease.

That came approximately seven minutes later when they finally, painstakingly slowly reached the entrance of the building. The door was wide open and Steve could smell the open air from behind it. Sadly, there were more than a dozen men between them and that open air, armed to the teeth and all pointing their machine guns at them.

One of them, the commanding first lieutenant according to his uniform, spoke up. “The Soldier now goes back to his cell.”

Bucky started trembling at the words and shut his eyes.

“You know there’re consequences if you don’t, Soldier,” the man threatened.

Becca whined in their head, wanting to be free. The urge to find Bucky finally calmed down, she was able to think more clearly, and even though she didn’t know much about humans and their weapons, she knew human nature. She recognized utmost confidence when she met it, and she knew that humans in general could be dangerous if they wanted to. She needed to get out of here.

Steve stood up straight, growling and showing teeth. Half of the guns were pointed at him, but he was beyond caring, and pushed Becca back a bit more in their mind.

**If you want them to surrender,[go to chapter 31.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46366606)**

**!skull - If you want them to fight their way out,[go to chapter 39.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46366573)**


	67. Chapter 67

Natalia was almost a grown up when they met, but during the years she became a gorgeous woman - and the most dangerous one in the world, probably. Steve didn't miss the way Bucky looked at her, pride and raw admiration in his gaze when no one else was present. He didn't miss _her_ glances either, equally smitten and equally hidden, dancing around each other in sparring and in words when they could, and pretending to be only professional acquaintances when handlers were around.

Meanwhile she grew fond of Steve as well. That was also a secret, because out of the three of them only Steve could show his affection as much as he wanted. Everyone knew Steve had a strong bond to the Soldier, so they didn’t expect anything else from him, and adding Natalia as a second person he cared for was maybe surprising at first, but not to a shocking extent.

As long as Natalia didn’t show affection back publicly, they were good.

They mastered their game of pretending - no surprise, since she was a spy and the Soldier was simply experienced in keeping the remnants of his true self close to his heart.

*

But of course even they couldn't fully outsmart a full organization of spies and secret agents.

The Red Room didn't have the equipment to wipe the Soldier the way Weapon X could, the knowledge of the procedure wasn’t entrusted to them. But they could still discipline and torture Bucky in other ways, and there were more than one occasions when the Soldier was led back from those sessions emptier than before, colder than before, not reciprocating Natalia’s glances for a few days, weeks or months.

Natalia wasn’t above suspicion either, and from time to time she had to prove herself and her ruthlessness just to stay alive.

Steve was always punished painfully whenever any of them made a mistake.

Steve found himself gazing back at her more and more often, and it took a while until he realized the pleading in her eyes.

*

“They’ll kill him,” Natalia whispered in the middle of the night, sneaking into the cell Steve was in. Bucky was gone for ‘maintenance’, which meant that he’d be back with mechanical movements and bruised, bloody skin soon.

Steve sat up.

“They’ll kill him,” Natalia repeated. “We can’t let that happen.”

Steve studied her for a while in the dim moonlight. She smelled honest. Her heartbeat was even. She could lie convincingly to any human but Steve knew her, and knew her telltale signs when she lied about something important: that slight twitch in her breath, barely audible to anyone, that change in the rhythm of her pulse, unnoticeable to human senses.

She really was convinced to help Bucky, Steve decided. He lowered his head and whined softly in agreement.

“Good,” Natalia said. “We have to get him out of here.”

It was easier said than done, though. Steve tilted his head in doubt.

“Oh come on,” Natalia smirked with a bravado that was probably more fake than genuine, “it’s us, we’ll figure it out.”

Well. Steve couldn’t argue with that, so he just looked after Natalia as she slipped out on the door that was supposed to be closed and locked in the first place.

*

Natalia was the best of the best. She was trained in manipulation and she had a headstart with Bucky: she knew her trainer and partner. Also she had Steve as an ace up her sleeve.

Within a month, Bucky was convinced, the last push given on their shared mission out in St. Petersburg, the bright summer sunlight reflecting back from Natalia’s sumptuous hair as she laughed at Bucky, pretending to be his newlywed wife, ice-cream at hand. Then she leaned close and whispered sweet promises to his ear about this being their life without handlers. A life where they could travel the world without worrying about a target, a life where Steve could come out with them anytime and not just at night, a life where Natalia could really be with Bucky if they both wanted that.

They disappeared from their hotel room under the guise of that night.

**!ship - If you want the three of them to stick together,[go to chapter 3.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46364584)**

**If you want Steve and Bucky to go separate ways from Natalia now that they’re free,[go to chapter 77.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46368571)**


	68. Chapter 68

In the end, Steve didn't throw the woman out of the window.

He threw the guards through the wall instead.

It was quite satisfying, even though it turned out his fight was misplaced and the organization he was held in wasn't hostile against him.

In theory. 

Steve wasn't sure he could trust them further than how far he could throw them, but after Nick Fury (supposed-to-be Director of SHIELD, an American intelligence agency funded by Howard Stark and Margaret Carter) encountered him, Steve forced a smile on his face and shook the man’s hand and pretended to believe everything without a doubt.

Some of it seemed plausible at least. The time gap made sense.

Steve didn't tell a single word about his experience as a wolf.

He asked a few general questions, and they revealed that people either still thought Bucky was dead, or they were hellbent on keeping him in this belief.

He was going to find Bucky, and he wouldn't risk this mission by talking about him to anyone whom he didn’t fully trusted.

Bucky was out there somewhere, frozen and waiting for orders, expecting to find his wolf at his side when he was woken up. Steve had to find him.

In the meantime, he could stop an alien invasion with a new team, he supposed.

**[Go to chapter 6.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46369318) **


	69. Chapter 69

“So,” Clint said, a few moments or a few eternities later when they joined him in the makeshift camp. Clint had already made the tent and and a fire and roasted a piece of meat on a spit to have it for dinner. “Care to explain?”

Steve and Bucky, shoulders touching and fingers entwined, shared a glance. Bucky shrugged. Steve sighed. “Sure,” he agreed. “But it’s a long story.”

*

They went back to the States.

Natasha didn’t even blink at the free rider when she picked them up in the middle of nowhere with a quinjet, and took the fact that the new man on board was also from Steve’s time with her equivalent of a shrug. “Seems like you’ll have more fun with the catch up from now on,” she only commented, withholding her curiosity. 

With Bucky there, the flat Steve lived in felt like a home - instead of just an apartment he had slept in.

*

Bucky didn’t talk.

He communicated in his own way. He made sounds - he growled, he whined, he moaned, he cleared his throat - or shook his head, or curled his body to express his feelings, but he didn’t talk.

Steve didn’t care, as long as Bucky was there and okay.

*

“I wish I could remember properly. It’s crazy to think my dreams weren’t just  _ dreams _ ,” Steve mused while they laid in bed facing each other, ready to turn in for the night. Bucky opened his mouth and laughed, head thrown back but without voice, the air escaping his lungs with a strange, muted  _ hhh-hhh-hhh _ sound - and Steve thought this was what happiness, that true joy and contentment felt like.

He had to double-check that thought when Bucky leaned forward and pressed his mouth to Steve’s, and  _ wow _ , that was  _ happiness  _ indeed. They kissed, unhurried and sweet, discovering each other in new ways, and Steve didn’t have the least of protests. Still Bucky pulled back, just a bit, almost shyly, his eyes questioning without words.

“It’s more than okay, Buck,” Steve answered, and dived in to get more. “You always knew what I wanted even before me. Seems like that didn't change,” he whispered to Bucky’s lips, and this time  _ he  _ kissed Bucky, his hands stroking Bucky’s back and his legs entwined with Bucky’s, his blood singing and his mind losing coherency and his heart beating fast and steady and finally at peace.

**This is the end of this storyline. If you want a different ending, you can go back to the previous chapters any time and choose a different way! Thank you for reading!**


	70. Chapter 70

It was time to let them in on the secret, he knew. So with his heart beating in his throat and his palms sweating with nerves, Steve told them about his time in the ice.

How he became kind of a spirit, wandering in the world and possessing animals, especially wolves.

How he accompanied the Winter Soldier.

Natasha straightened up. “I’ve heard about you,” she whispered. “I’ve heard about the Soldier’s hellhound.”

“I have to find him,” Steve simply answered.

“Well, good luck with that,” Clint snorted. “Nat has been trying that for ages.”

“But word is, he’s in the wind lately,” she added, thoughtfully. “Word is, the Soldier went rogue.”

Steve straightened up, his heartbeat that calmed down after his confession starting to beat viciously again. “Bucky broke out?”

“It’s just a rumor in the intelligence community, and most of the people don’t believe it because it isn’t even confirmed if the Soldier is real or not, let alone his status, and…” Natasha bit her lip and took a fortifying breath. “If he doesn’t want to be found, you won’t be able to, Steve.”

“Well you didn’t have my help when you tried to catch a ghost, Rushman,” Tony interjected.

Bruce didn’t say a word but stood up and stepped behind Tony, also volunteering.

“You don’t have to do this,” Steve warned.

“Luckily, because we all suck at doing what we have to do,” Clint agreed cheerfully.

“Where do we start?” Bruce asked.

Steve’s gaze landed on Natasha, and they both smiled. She understood him before he even spoke up. “Well, we know what the ghost wants.” He took a pause. “He’s looking for his wolf.”

**[Go to chapter 72.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46370218) **


	71. Chapter 71

Steve didn’t answer at first. He didn’t want to – he didn’t _have_ to answer to a _cat._ And he definitely didn’t need to reveal his status to something this scarily intelligent and quick on its feet, and he may have been even a little bit of ashamed about this whole situation, but it’s just… no.

He was sure it would have been wrong to answer honestly, and he was shit at lying even as a living human. Being inside another being’s head, it probably would be so much harder.

He shut his thoughts down and tried to send rejection to the cat.

 _“I’m not just any cat. I am a flerken,”_ the animal yawned as it corrected him, _“and even if I were, you are very rude and I don’t like that.”_

There was a push. Or more like a punch, solid in the center of Steve’s face, even though he didn’t have a face, and he was flying out of the cat’s (flerken’s?) mind, unable to stop himself.

Steve felt like falling through the ice again. The world felt cold and dark and walls – unfamiliar, solid walls; walls that were alive but unmovable, walls that belonged to a mind Steve couldn’t identify as any kind of species he had encountered before, some kind of plant maybe, but he wasn’t even sure of that – closed around Steve.

 _“There, little human. You’ll learn some patience and manners there, I hope. See you never.”_ The animal’s words were the last ones he had heard for a very long time.

**If you want to have more,[you can continue reading from chapter 27](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46367713), or you can go back and change directions at any earlier point of the journey. Thank you for reading!**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: imprisonment.


	72. Chapter 72

In the end, they’ve met each other halfway. 

In the end, Bucky got word of Steve Rogers’ return to the living, and headed to New York.

They’ve met in the New York State Zoo at Thompson Park, in front of the wolf kennels. 

Steve was waiting there, every intel they had telling him that Bucky would show up there, sitting on a bench with his arms braced behind the backrest, unarmed and in civilian clothes, his eyes shadowed with sunglasses and a baseball cap.

Bucky didn’t look at him at first, studying the wolves playing with each other instead, until Steve stood up and stepped next to him. Their shoulders brushed, and Bucky stilled for a second - Steve knew, sensed that Bucky was armed and almost pulled a gun on him, but he didn’t care.

He turned his head and smiled at Bucky, and Bucky turned as well, slowly, like he was afraid of dreaming, afraid of it turning into a nightmare if he took a sudden movement. Their eyes met, and Steve knew that Bucky recognized him.

Bucky always recognized him based on his eyes.

Steve slipped his hand to Bucky’s.

The metal was both familiar and alien to touch - Steve had only encountered it before as a wolf, and his human skin felt textures differently. But he knew this hand. Knew that it belonged to Bucky, and though Bucky was used to do terrible things in the past, it wasn’t his fault. He had no choice - neither of them did, and it partly was Steve’s fault, his presence giving leverage to Weapon X and power over Bucky, and Steve had to live with that knowledge and that burden. 

But they were both out, free and human after not being one for so long.

“Nice to meet you again, Buck,” Steve quietly said, knowing that he had tears in his eyes, knowing that he couldn’t (and wouldn’t) hide the adoration and love in his eyes, the softness in his voice. “I’ve missed you.”

“Steve,” Bucky said, voice rasped and unused, “Stevie.”

“Yeah. Weird, isn’t it?”

“Not that much,” Bucky’s tone became dry, in an oh-so-familiar and teasing way. “It’s you we’re talking about.”

And Steve had nothing else to do but to grin at that. “Well, you’ve found your wolf,” he said, casually, squeezing Bucky’s hand, and Bucky squeezed back. It was the best feeling in the world. “What do you say to this wolf leading you into safety like in your dad’s stories?”

Bucky averted his gaze, but he also smiled. He still was the most handsome person on this goddamned Earth Steve had ever seen - despite the shadows on his face and the haunted quality of his gaze.

“You know a place?”

“Actually, yes.” Steve gently pulled at their hands entwined, and Bucky followed. “Let’s go home, shall we?”

**[Go to chapter 16.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46370500) **


	73. Chapter 73

There was a pull to go and find Peggy – because Steve might need help, because Steve wasn’t ready to find Bucky dead, because he missed her too, because... – but Steve was helpless against his need to be with Bucky again.

He had died for this. However shitty this afterlife was, he was determined to spend it with Bucky – or if it wasn’t some kind of hell or purgatory, but he indeed was stuck on the mortal plane of existence, then damn if he wouldn’t find at least the corpse of Bucky. Maybe he could lead people to the place, so they could give Bucky a proper burial. That would be nice. That would be the least Steve could do for his best friend.

Also, what if Bucky got stuck here as well? Not like Steve believed in ghosts before, but since he had become one, he had to reconsider his standpoint on the matter.

Maybe he could be with Bucky, in this limited form, somehow, and that would still be more than what he deserved, yet he longed for it.

So he – they – followed every track and trail they could find. They hunted a prey they couldn’t have for more time than either Steve or Becca could count. It was fruitless more often than not.

Until it wasn’t.

Until they got scent – fresh, alive scent. They were in a land where the days were long and the nights short, where the trees were mostly pines and the predators large and dangerous for a lone wolf, where the winters were cold and deadly but the summers full of life, they were in a land that was far from their home but also held the scent.

Steve had no idea how this was possible, and figured it was probably a mistake – someone with a very similar scent – but Becca growled threateningly at his thought. A wolf didn’t mix up scents, the growl said. Steve didn’t argue. Becca would see anyways.

They reached the gates. They were solid metal bars, and it was guarded by armed men. Steve made them lay on the ground and examine the site before moving closer. Their sensitive ears picked up part of conversations, and Steve had to think embarrassingly long until he realized that it was all in Russian.

Becca growled again. She was hungry, they needed to hunt something. She also wanted to follow the scent, just like they had been doing it for a very long time now. She wanted to get closer. She wanted to see the man on the other end of the scent, the only man she thought of with fondness instead of wariness.

Steve made her wait.

They watched the gates, and then Steve did the only reasonable thing in this situation. When a convoy of military-style trucks approached, he jumped to their feet, sprinted down to the road and jumped into the last one’s flatbed.

To his utter luck, this time there weren’t any soldiers there, just crates with probably (by the smell of gunpowder) ammunition in them.

Once inside the building, they jumped off the car as quickly and as quietly as possible, ghosting through the warehouse they were in, and yet Steve couldn’t help the small, afraid whine that escaped his throat. Bucky’s scent was inside the building. Bucky was here, in a Russian base.

That couldn’t mean anything good, and Steve needed to know, and he needed to help, but it didn’t mean the situation didn’t make their blood run cold in their veins with terror. Becca nudged his mind gently with their shared determination.

_Find Bucky. Be with Bucky._

There was only one way to accomplish that.

**[Go to chapter 62.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46366084) **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: still some general grief and angst over Bucky's assumed death.


	74. Chapter 74

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by my artist's beautiful artwork. Check it out if you haven't done already!  
> [Of Soldiers and Wolves - artwork - Winter and his wolf on a mission](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19432618).

Steve hadn't been there on the briefing, so he had no idea what the mission was, and the Soldier, despite fighting for his company, didn't explain it to him. So he was left to deduce it based on Bucky's minimal input. Sharp and yet not unfriendly "stay" and "quiet" and "go" commands followed each other while they navigated through the city Steve wasn't familiar with. Steve was careful to monitor the area with his animal senses, taking his time to smell, to hear as much as he was able. The city stank. It was full of the scents of humans - and the wolf he was within had her own opinion about the humans, not a stellar one to put it mildly. Trash, sweat, fear, anger - it all dulled the useful information.

The Soldier had a rifle, but apparently he didn't plan to use it because he had left it in the safehouse they used as a base of operation. Steve stared at him questioningly long enough that Bucky shrugged and answered, "it would be hard to sell it as an accident."

So they were about to kill someone. Someone who was a danger to Weapon X's plans, important enough to worth the risk of being exposed if their Soldier messed up the mission.

Steve wanted to step in and stop this. He wanted to save their target, whoever it was.

But at the same time, he knew that it wasn't only a mission, it was a test too.

And if Bucky - if any of them - failed the test, the consequences would be dire. They would probably be killed. And while Steve didn't mind dying again (especially not if it meant he could save someone else and cause trouble to monsters like Weapon X's people), he couldn't make the same sacrifice at Bucky's expense. Bucky deserved to be saved, not to be killed. And even if he weren't killed, he'd be tortured and brainwashed further, and that… no. Steve couldn't risk that. He had to protect Bucky, not cause him even more hurt and harm.

Steve was so lost in his thoughts that he nearly missed the warning scents. Just by visual or audible clues the back alley seemed completely ordinary, but it was full of the same men's scent, men who were reeking the aroma of gunpowder and weapon oil, their past footsteps crisscrossing everywhere. And there was the smell of bombs.

Steve had lived in a base as a wolf for so long his brain nearly associated these smells as normal, but he was in the body of a wild animal, and to her, these never could be normal. Now that he relied more on Alice's senses and instincts, she warned them in time.

Steve barked once and jumped at Bucky, headbutting, urging him to get out of here immediately.

Bucky didn't question him. He started to sprint, Steve hot on his heels.

They barely got out of the alley when it erupted in fire and smoke, the tail of the explosion knocking them to the ground even though they were out of the main detonation zone.

The Soldier was on his feet and crouching over Steve protectively the next second.

Steve whined a bit. Without healing factor, his whole body hurt, his ears were ringing and he couldn't hear his own voice, but he was alive, and Bucky was also alive, and that was what counted.

"Stay here," Bucky commanded, loud enough for him to hear faintly. "I'll be back in ten minutes."

Steve didn't listen, of course. Therefore he had the fortune - and misfortune - to witness the Soldier taking down a smaller army of the local resistance group, plus the American spy who organized and weaponized them.

Steve didn't hurt any of them, but it wasn't needed anyway. The Soldier was deadly on his own.

When he was done, Bucky arranged the scene so it looked like the dealing of local gangs, and forged some fake evidence of a few survivors, then kneeled in front of Steve.

"Thank you for the warning," he said, placing a comforting hand on the top of Steve’s head. "Let's go back."

Steve whined. Bucky almost smiled, the edge of his lips curling upwards, but somehow his expression only turned sad because of it. 

"I know you don't like it. You don't have to. But that's where we belong… where I belong. It's not perfect, but it's our home."

Steve wanted to ask if Bucky forgot all the pain those people caused him, if he forgot that he had a home, a real one, back at the other side of the ocean. He wanted to remind Bucky that he could take down that base, just like he had taken down these armed people now.

But he couldn't. He couldn't talk, he couldn't remind Bucky of these things without his human voice and human words, and he knew too well that Bucky indeed didn't remember any of those things.

All Steve could do was to be with Bucky, till the end of the line. So that's what Steve was going to do.

He stood up and followed Bucky.

**[Go to chapter 12.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46367800) **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: non-graphic violence. Steve gets not-seriously hurt in an explosion and the Soldier kills the targets of the mission.


	75. Chapter 75

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: BuckyNat.

“Do you want to sleep with me?” Bucky once asked while they were traveling on a train between Czech cities Steve couldn’t remember the names of.

“We’re sleeping together every night,” Natalia said with a playful jab at Bucky’s shoulder and a smile on her lips.

“Yeah but I’m not…” Bucky blushed, and Steve, resting at their feet, loved the sight of that. He couldn’t remember the last time Bucky blushed. It was probably before the start of the war. “I didn’t mean like that.”

Natalia remained quiet for a while. “I don’t know if I want to sleep with anyone,” she admitted, so quietly that even Steve had a hard time to hear. “But I think I wouldn’t mind sleeping with you. As long… as long as I can stop anytime I want.”

Bucky held her hand and slowly lifted to his lips to breath a kiss to the knuckles, still bruised from their last fight. “I wouldn’t want any other way.”

Steve politely stayed out of the room when they got to their next safe house, laying down on the other side of the door instead.

*

“Do you think we can run forever?” Natalia asked another day, laying on the bed together (with clothes on) and Steve laying across their feet, needing to feel them close.

“No,” Bucky shrugged. “Obviously.”

They remained silent for a while.

“Well.” Natalia, for once, was just as much at a loss for words as Bucky. “I suppose everyone dies sooner or later. We’ve already outlived our expectations.”

“We aren’t human,” the Soldier answered slowly. “We were never meant to grow old and retire from our service.”

“I don’t believe that,” she said firmly, and lifted their hands, fingers entwined. “This? This is human to me. I often didn’t feel like in the Red Room, but since then…”

She trailed off, and Bucky didn’t interrupt her silence. The clock ticked the seconds away. The pause extended into minutes.

“Call me Natasha,” she finally said. Bucky turned to look at her.

“What?”

“Call me Natasha. They owned everything of me, including my name. I’m not theirs anymore. That name never belonged to me, so I choose another one, one that is mine. Call me Natasha.”

Bucky smiled and the corner of his eyes wrinkled with the gesture. “What about a surname?”

“Romanoff.”

“Lazy choice.”

“I’ve spent too long with identities carefully crafted to the last detail. I think I’ll like the lazy one for a change. I’ll discover Natasha for myself. I don’t know barely anything of her, but it’ll be a challenge to explore. Does she like ice cream? Does she have any hobbies? Is she a good driver or bad? We’ll see.”

The Soldier raised to his elbow, and leaned down to kiss her.

“Okay, Natasha. We’ll discover her.”

She turned her eyes down and reached out to pet Steve’s head. “One thing’s for sure, though,” she mused, “Natasha loves animals and she’s especially fond of our Steve here.”

Bucky reached out too and Steve leaned into their touch, almost purring by the satisfaction of their loving attention.

“Good,” was all Bucky said.

They had a lifetime ahead of them. It was scarred and incomplete, but it was theirs, and they were about to make the most of it.

**This is the end of this storyline. If you want to have more,[you can start a continuation reading with angst from chapter 27,](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46367713) or you can go back and change directions at any earlier point of the journey. Thank you for reading!**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: BuckyNat.


	76. chapter 76

The door closed with a loud click behind their back.

Steve barked urgently. Becca whined in their head, nervous because of the walls all around. They paced toward the closed door, then came back.

Bucky’s pale smile faltered. “No, we can’t,” he whispered.

That, Steve understood. It was very likely that they were stuck here forever. 

Still his urge to run, to get away got to the surface often.

Bucky never followed him, though. He wasn’t afraid of the suddenly appeared wolf, not once. He whispered into Steve’s ear during sleepless nights, huddled close for warmth in the cold cell. He reminded Steve the rules all the time - rules that helped to navigate their new life here.

*

It was relatively simple. If they followed orders, they could get through the day relatively unharmed. If one of them stepped out of the line, the other one got hurt. From the first moment, their captors saw the opportunity in Steve’s appearance, and were eager to use it.

It was bad enough while no one really cared about them, but then things got even worse. Two men - the same two, who raked of cheap cologne and sweaty gear all the time - came and took Bucky away on a daily basis, and every time Bucky came back more and more ragged, shaking and mumbling and his gaze emptier than before.

When he tried to attack the men, Bucky got beaten up so bad Steve stood vigil above him, afraid he’d die otherwise. When Steve tried to escape, he was caught and dragged back, and they both got whipped until their back burned and bled with agony. 

Once, Steve smelled food from the corridor. Hunger and the animal’s instincts took over. He broke out to get to it - they were both thrown into a pool of ice cold water with Bucky for hours for his foolhardiness.

Steve wasn’t a good pupil, his resistance sparked up again and again, but Bucky didn’t try anything after a while. “There’s no way out of here, pal,” he said. “Steve’s dead and no one would come to save us.”

Steve wanted to scream, but he could only howl, wanted to explain, to reveal himself somehow, but Bucky didn’t understand.

Bucky understood less and less of the whole world, it seemed, whatever it was that was happening to him while he was out of Steve’s reach. His words distorted more, his mumbling less and less coherent each time.

Then it stopped entirely. 

Bucky just… stared ahead, barely acknowledging anything that wasn’t coming in their captors’ commanding tone.

And Steve was helpless.

**To continue reading,[go to chapter 41.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46367104)**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: descriptions of torture and physical punishment, both to wolf!Steve and Bucky/Soldier.


	77. Chapter 77

They didn’t talk about it, not really. They left the base, then left the jeep they’d stolen to drive to the town, but there Natalia stopped when they were heading to the railway station.

Steve and Bucky looked at her, and understood her. It was smarter to go separate ways. It didn’t mean that she wanted to leave them, not necessarily, though who knew with the Black Widow. But the Red Room was going to look for the three of them, so they would have an easier time disappearing alone.

Steve pulled closer to Bucky, rubbing his side to his legs. There was no way for him to leave, to let Bucky go alone. Bucky petted his head, reassuring him mutely. Natalia looked at them with a sad smile, almost frowning, but not quite.

She didn’t say goodbye. She was there at one moment and disappeared into the crowd the next, swift and fast as she was taught. They stayed motionless for a minute, giving her time, not wanting to accidentally follow her, then they got on the first train themselves, not caring where it was heading.

At that moment the main goal was to get away from the Red Room, from Weapon X, from anyone who might want to have them. It didn’t matter if that was in China, in France, or in any other country of the world.

“Freedom,” Bucky muttered, trying the taste and sound of that word.

Steve almost purred and rested his head in Bucky’s lap.

**If you want wolf!Steve and Bucky on the run,[go to chapter 42.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46369639)**

**If you want human!Steve to join the storyline,[ go to chapter 46.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46368601)**


	78. Chapter 78

Steve expected a lot of weird things from the future, but not that a woman would come up to him during an alien invasion, politely introducing herself as Natasha Romanoff while shooting down monsters as calm as a monk, and offering her - pardon, their - help to deal with the situation.

“We?” Steve asked back on that detail for the lack of better options, baffled by the whole situation, and yanked his shield out from an alien corpse where the metal edge nearly sliced the beast into two.

“I have a partner,” Natasha explained, still calm while she crouched beside Steve and changed the clip in her gun, “he’s a sniper, the best of them. He’ll cover us.”

Steve looked around. He couldn’t even count the numerical advantage of the enemy, and there were more to come.

“Welcome to the team, Natasha and partner.”

*

After the battle and the whole fun and trauma of it, Steve didn’t wish anything else than to sit down and be left alone for a minute or two. Well, no, maybe a shower. A shower also would have been terrifically nice.

“Yeah, I think he’s ready,” Natasha said to her comm - and it didn’t arrive at Steve’s end, and oh, yes, Natasha just joined them and was on a different frequency, and was talking to her mysterious partner. “Meet us at the shawarma joint.”

Despite the exhaustion Steve was curious. Natasha didn’t exaggerate when she said her partner was the best sniper. As far as Steve knew, he hadn’t missed a single shot during the siege, and Natasha’s voice became fond when she talked to her earpiece. Steve was about to meet an extraordinary man, he felt.

He wasn’t prepared how right he would be.

*

“Bu… Bucky?” Steve stammered, stopping dead in his track when he got sight of the man waiting for them. He wore black tactical gear, and there was a mask lowered to his chest that was supposed to cover his face, and his hair was longer than Steve ever remembered Bucky wearing it, and he had several weeks worth of beard that Bucky would have never stood on his face, but it was… the resemblance was still uncanny, and to his voice, “Bucky” raised his eyes and that made every doubt go away.

Steve would have recognized those eyes, anytime, anywhere. There was no gap in time and no space in reality where he wouldn’t know Bucky’s eyes.

“Hi, Steve,” Bucky said quietly. “It’s been a while, huh?”

The shield fell to the ground with a loud crank as Steve dropped it in favor of sprinting to his friend and embracing him in a bone-shattering hug.

Bucky’s groan was muffled by Steve’s shoulders, and he raised his hand to pat Steve’s back. “Don’t break me, pal,” he whined, “I’ve missed you too.”

**[Go to chapter 79.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46370860) **


	79. Chapter 79

Bucky was trusting Steve, but he changed a lot. He talked less and listened more, his eyes always following the movements around himself.

Him and Natasha opened up bit by bit to him and to the team - Bucky and Natasha started to touch each other more openly after a while, they let their gaze lingering on each other longer and longer, until finally they were comfortable enough to even kiss in front of the other team members.

They disclosed their history just as slowly and carefully, adding a bit more information each time, until the terrible picture was clear. Steve was horrified, to say at least, but neither Natasha nor Bucky dwelled much about the torturous, awful details of their past. Whenever the mood seemed too darkened by one of their stories, they always switched topic - and they usually switched topic to talk about their wolf. (Or, wolves.)

And those stories… those stories did something to Steve.

It gave him dreams - vivid, detailed dreams about living with the pair, about enduring the tortures with Bucky, about escaping from the Red Room. 

At first the scenes were only the ones Bucky and Natasha talked about, though so detailed that Steve usually woke up covered in cold sweat and with phantom aches everywhere. Then it escalated to dreaming about his own scenes, and they felt just as real as the ones the pair talked about. Steve was very grateful for the soundproofed walls of the Tower, because he woke up screaming more than once.

He started to carefully ask questions.

Turned out, that even the new dreams checked out with Bucky’s and Natasha’s memories. Steve dwelled on it for as long as he was able, but then he couldn’t hold back his curiosity.

“I know it might sound crazy,” he started carefully, after he arranged the day that he could be alone and undisturbed with the pair in the living room for the whole day. Natasha had her legs on Bucky’s lap, and they muted the television in the background. “So it’s just… I don’t know what this is, but… those stories about the wolf…”

He stammered, unable to find the right words.

“Feel a bit too close to home?” Natasha helped.

“Like it happened?” Bucky joined in.

Steve stared at them with his mouth hanging open.

“I suspected, but I wasn’t sure until now,” Bucky said. “It was you all along, right? Somehow. While you were frozen, you were also in the wolves, all of them through the years, always with me. Right?”

Steve blinked and couldn’t say a word. Yes, it  _ sounded _ crazy out loud, but it  _ was _ what he felt like had happened, what he had so vivid dreams of, even if it was impossible, even if...

Natasha smiled. “You should see your face, it’s hilarious.” She had such a deadpan delivery despite her smile that even Bucky laughed a bit. “I was wondering when you would man up and confess that you remember.”

“I don’t…” Steve protested, then shut up and sighed. “I don’t know if I remember. I didn’t… not until your stories. But I have these dreams…” He bit his lips. “It’s impossible.”

Bucky leaned forward and grabbed Steve’s hand. “Pal. You’re jacked up on a superserum. I’ve survived a fall that should’ve killed me and have a metal arm. We’re seventy years into the future, fighting aliens on the regular. I’ve landed the most beautiful and most awesome woman on Earth as my girlfriend.  _ Impossible _ is pretty big of a word for us.”

Steve snorted loudly. “Jerk. When you put it like that.”

“Yeah, I do,” Bucky shrugged. “Now, will you come here to cuddle with us or I have to drag you?”

Steve didn’t protest when he was pulled between the two of them, hugged from both sides.

They had a lot of talking ahead of them, plenty of things to figure out, about their past and about their future, but it could wait a minute, an hour, a day. They could just enjoy  _ being _ for a while.

God knew they deserved it.

**This is the end of this storyline. If you want a different ending, you can go back to the previous chapters any time and choose a different way! Thank you for reading!**


	80. Chapter 80

Bucky got a new arm, shiny and futuristic, made out of strange-smelling metal. Steve had never sniffed anything like that before. That was the last time Bucky cried - holding his left metal wrist with his right hand in front of him, staring at it with huge horrified eyes while tears slithered on his eerily expressionless face.

Steve was just glad he got his friend back after he was dragged away for several days, and Steve alone in their cell started to go crazy with worry.

Having a robot arm was a way better scenario than all the ones he’d made up in his head while he was freaking out.

**To continue reading, either[go back to chapter 41](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46367104) where you've came from and choose a different path, or [go forth to chapter 9](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476931/chapters/46367458) to progress with the story.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: general Winter Soldier warnings apply. Body dysphoria, Bucky crying.


	81. Reading order, end ships

This is a quick numberic guide. If you're lost, if you're second guessing your answers, or if you need to know in advance what ship the story will end up with.

**_ Every possible reading order: _ **

_First half of the fic (post-crash, cold war era):_

2 - 21 - 47 - 27.

2 - 21 - 49 - 63 - 10 - 22 - 04 - 27.

2 - 21 - 49 - 63 - 10 - 22 - 71 - 27.

2 - 21 - 49 - 63 - 10 - 53 - 73 - 62 - 60 - 43 - 48 - 40 - 27.

2 - 21 - 49 - 63 - 10 - 53 - 73 - 62 - 43 - 45 - 66 - 31 - 76 – 41 – (11) – (36) – (80) – (20 – 38) – 09 – (74) – 12 – 44 – 57 – 27.

2 - 21 - 49 - 63 - 10 - 53 - 73 - 62 - 43 - 41 – (11) – (36) – (80) – (20 – 38) – 09 – (74) – 12 – 44 – 57 – 27.

2 - 21 - 49 - 63 - 73 - 62 - 60 - 43 - 48 - 40 - 27.

2 - 21 - 49 - 63 - 73 - 62 - 43 - 45 - 66 - 31 - 76 – 41 – (11) – (36) – (80) – (20 – 38) – 09 – (74) – 12 – 44 – 57 – 27.

2 - 21 - 49 - 63 - 73 - 62 - 43 - 41 – (11) – (36) – (80) – (20 – 38) – 09 – (74) – 12 – 44 – 57 – 27.

2 - 21 - 49 - 63 - 10 - 53 - 73 - 62 - 43 - 45 - 66 - 31 - 76 – 41 – (11) – (36) – (80) – (20 – 38) – 09 – (74) – 12 – 32 – 61 – 15 – 67 – 03 – 07 – 75 – 27.

2 - 21 - 49 - 63 - 10 - 53 - 73 - 62 - 43 - 45 - 76 – 41 – (11) – (36) – (80) – (20 – 38) – 9 – (74) – 12 – 32 – 61 – 15 – 67 – 03 – 07 – 75 – 27.

2 - 21 - 49 - 63 - 10 - 53 - 73 - 62 - 43 - 41 – (11) – (36) – (80) – (20 – 38) – 9 – (74) – 12 – 32 – 61 – 15 – 67 – 03 – 07 – 75 – 27.

2 - 21 - 49 - 63 - 73 - 62 - 43 - 45 - 66 - 31 - 76 – 41 – (11) – (36) – (80) – (20 – 38) – 9 – (74) – 12 – 32 – 61 – 15 – 67 – 03 – 07 – 75 – 27.

2 - 21 - 49 - 63 - 73 - 62 - 43 - 45 - 76 – 41 – (11) – (36) – (80) – (20 – 38) – 9 – (74) – 12 – 32 – 61 – 15 – 67 – 03 – 07 – 75 – 27.

2 - 21 - 49 - 63 - 73 - 62 - 43 - 41 – (11) – (36) – (80) – (20 – 38) – 9 – (74) – 12 – 32 – 61 – 15 – 67 – 03 – 07 – 75 – 27.

2 - 21 - 49 - 63 - 73 - 62 - 43 - 41 – (11) – (36) – (80) – (20 – 38) – 09 – (74) – 12 – 32 – 61 – 15 – 13 – 57 – 27.

2 - 21 - 49 - 63 - 10 - 53 - 73 - 62 - 43 - 45 - 66 - 31 - 76 – 41 – (11) – (36) – (80) – (20 – 38) – 09 – (74) – 12 – 32 – 61 – 15 – 67 – 77 – 42 – 27.

2 - 21 - 49 - 63 - 10 - 53 - 73 - 62 - 43 - 45 - 76 – 41 – (11) – (36) – (80) – (20 – 38) – 09 – (74) – 12 – 32 – 61 – 15 – 67 – 77 – 42 – 27.

2 - 21 - 49 - 63 - 10 - 53 - 73 - 62 - 43 - 41 – (11) – (36) – (80) – (20 – 38) – 09 – (74) – 12 – 32 – 61 – 15 – 67 – 77 – 42 – 27.

2 - 21 - 49 - 63 - 73 - 62 - 43 - 45 - 66 - 31 - 76 – 41 – (11) – (36) – (80) – (20 – 38) – 09 – (74) – 12 – 32 – 61 – 15 – 67 – 77 – 42 – 27.

2 - 21 - 49 - 63 - 73 - 62 - 43 - 45 - 76 – 41 – (11) – (36) – (80) – (20 – 38) – 09 – (74) – 12 – 32 – 61 – 15 – 67 – 77 – 42 – 27.

2 - 21 - 49 - 63 - 73 - 62 - 43 - 41 – (11) – (36) – (80) – (20 – 38) – 09 – (74) – 12 – 32 – 61 – 15 – 67 – 77 – 42 – 27.

2 - 21 - 49 - 63 - 10 - 53 - 73 - 62 - 43 - 45 - 66 - 31 - 76 – 41 – (11) – (36) – (80) – (20 – 38) – 09 – (74) – 12 – 32 – 61 – 15 – 24 – 59 – 13 – 57 – 27.

2 - 21 - 49 - 63 - 10 - 53 - 73 - 62 - 43 - 45 - 76 – 41 – (11) – (36) – (80) – (20 – 38) – 09 – (74) – 12 – 32 – 61 – 15 – 24 – 59 – 13 – 57 – 27.

2 - 21 - 49 - 63 - 10 - 53 - 73 - 62 - 43 - 41 – (11) – (36) – (80) – (20 – 38) – 09 – (74) – 12 – 32 – 61 – 15 – 24 – 59 – 13 – 57 – 27.

2 - 21 - 49 - 63 - 73 - 62 - 43 - 45 - 66 - 31 - 76 – 41 – (11) – (36) – (80) – (20 – 38) – 09 – (74) – 12 – 32 – 61 – 15 –24 – 59 – 13 – 57 – 27.

2 - 21 - 49 - 63 - 73 - 62 - 43 - 45 - 76 – 41 – (11) – (36) – (80) – (20 – 38) – 09 – (74) – 12 – 32 – 61 – 15 – 24 – 59 – 13 – 57 – 27.

2 - 21 - 49 - 63 - 73 - 62 - 43 - 41 – (11) – (36) – (80) – (20 – 38) – 09 – (74) – 12 – 32 – 61 – 15 – 24 – 59 – 13 – 57 – 27.

2 - 21 - 49 - 63 - 10 - 53 - 73 - 62 - 43 - 45 - 66 - 31 - 76 – 41 – (11) – (36) – (80) – (20 – 38) – 09 – (74) – 12 – 32 – 61 – 15 – 24 – 26 – 03 – 07 – 75 – 27.

2 - 21 - 49 - 63 - 10 - 53 - 73 - 62 - 43 - 45 - 76 – 41 – (11) – (36) – (80) – (20 – 38) – 09 – (74) – 12 – 32 – 61 – 15 – 24 – 26 – 03 – 07 – 75 – 27.

2 - 21 - 49 - 63 - 10 - 53 - 73 - 62 - 43 - 41 – (11) – (36) – (80) – (20 – 38) – 09 – (74) – 12 – 32 – 61 – 15 – 24 – 26 – 03 – 07 – 75 – 27.

2 - 21 - 49 - 63 - 73 - 62 - 43 - 45 - 66 - 31 - 76 – 41 – (11) – (36) – (80) – (20 – 38) – 09 – (74) – 12 – 32 – 61 – 15 –24 – 26 – 03 – 07 – 75 – 27.

2 - 21 - 49 - 63 - 73 - 62 - 43 - 45 - 76 – 41 – (11) – (36) – (80) – (20 – 38) – 09 – (74) – 12 – 32 – 61 – 15 – 24 – 26 – 03 – 07 – 75 – 27.

2 - 21 - 49 - 63 - 73 - 62 - 43 - 41 – (11) – (36) – (80) – (20 – 38) – 09 – (74) – 12 – 32 – 61 – 15 – 24 – 26 – 03 – 07 75 – 27.

2 - 21 - 49 - 63 - 10 - 53 - 73 - 62 - 43 - 45 - 66 - 31 - 76 – 41 – (11) – (36) – (80) – (20 – 38) – 09 – (74) – 12 – 32 – 61 – 15 – 24 – 26 – 77 – 42 – 27.

2 - 21 - 49 - 63 - 10 - 53 - 73 - 62 - 43 - 45 - 76 – 41 – (11) – (36) – (80) – (20 – 38) – 09 – (74) – 12 – 32 – 61 – 15 – 24 – 26 – 77 – 42 – 27.

2 - 21 - 49 - 63 - 10 - 53 - 73 - 62 - 43 - 41 – (11) – (36) – (80) – (20 – 38) – 09 – (74) – 12 – 32 – 61 – 15 – 24 – 26 – 77 – 42 – 27.

2 - 21 - 49 - 63 - 73 - 62 - 43 - 45 - 66 - 31 - 76 – 41 – (11) – (36) – (80) – (20 – 38) – 09 – (74) – 12 – 32 – 61 – 15 –24 – 26 – 77 – 42 – 27.

2 - 21 - 49 - 63 - 73 - 62 - 43 - 45 - 76 – 41 – (11) – (36) – (80) – (20 – 38) – 09 – (74) – 12 – 32 – 61 – 15 – 24 – 26 - 77 – 42 – 27.

2 - 21 - 49 - 63 - 73 - 62 - 43 - 41 – (11) – (36) – (80) – (20 – 38) – 09 – (74) – 12 – 32 – 61 – 15 – 24 – 26 – 77 – 42 – 27.

2 - 21 - 49 - 63 - 10 - 53 - 73 - 62 - 43 - 45 - 66 - 31 - 76 – 41 – (11) – (36) – (80) – (20 – 38) – 09 – (74) – 12 – 32 – 61 – 15 – 13 – 57 – 27.

2 - 21 - 49 - 63 - 10 - 53 - 73 - 62 - 43 - 45 - 76 – 41 – (11) – (36) – (80) – (20 – 38) – 09 – (74) – 12 – 32 – 61 – 15 – 13 – 57 – 27.

2 - 21 - 49 - 63 - 10 - 53 - 73 - 62 - 43 - 41 – (11) – (36) – (80) – (20 – 38) – 09 – (74) – 12 – 32 – 61 – 15 - 13 – 57 – 27.

2 - 21 - 49 - 63 - 73 - 62 - 43 - 45 - 66 - 31 - 76 – 41 – (11) – (36) – (80) – (20 – 38) – 09 – (74) – 12 – 32 – 61 – 15 – 13 – 57 – 27.

2 - 21 - 49 - 63 - 73 - 62 - 43 - 45 - 76 – 41 – (11) – (36) – (80) – (20 – 38) – 09 – (74) – 12 – 32 – 61 – 15 – 13 – 57 – 27.

2 - 21 - 49 - 63 - 73 - 62 - 43 - 41 – (11) – (36) – (80) – (20 – 38) – 09 – (74) – 12 – 32 – 61 – 15 – 13 – 57 – 27.

2 - 21 - 49 - 63 - 10 - 53 - 73 - 62 - 43 - 45 - 66 - 31 - 76 – 41 – (11) – (36) – (80) – (20 – 38) – 09 – (74) – 12 – 32 – 61 – 15 – 24 – 26 – 77 – 46 – 52 – 28. (end ship: **Stucky** )

2 - 21 - 49 - 63 - 10 - 53 - 73 - 62 - 43 - 45 - 76 – 41 – (11) – (36) – (80) – (20 – 38) – 09 – (74) – 12 – 32 – 61 – 15 – 24 – 26 – 77 – 46 – 52 – 28. (end ship: **Stucky** )

2 - 21 - 49 - 63 - 10 - 53 - 73 - 62 - 43 - 41 – (11) – (36) – (80) – (20 – 38) – 09 – (74) – 12 – 32 – 61 – 15 – 24 – 26 – 77 – 46 – 52 – 28. (end ship: Stucky)

2 - 21 - 49 - 63 - 73 - 62 - 43 - 45 - 66 - 31 - 76 – 41 – (11) – (36) – (80) – (20 – 38) – 09 – (74) – 12 – 32 – 61 – 15 –24 – 26 – 77 – 46 – 52 – 28. (end ship: **Stucky** )

2 - 21 - 49 - 63 - 73 - 62 - 43 - 45 - 76 – 41 – (11) – (36) – (80) – (20 – 38) – 09 – (74) – 12 – 32 – 61 – 15 – 24 – 26 - 77 – 46 – 52 – 28. (end ship: Stucky)

2 - 21 - 49 - 63 - 73 - 62 - 43 - 41 – (11) – (36) – (80) – (20 – 38) – 09 – (74) – 12 – 32 – 61 – 15 – 24 – 26 – 77 – 46 – 52 – 28. (end ship: **Stucky** )

2 - 21 - 49 - 63 - 10 - 53 - 73 - 62 - 43 - 45 - 66 - 31 - 76 – 41 – (11) – (36) – (80) – (20 – 38) – 09 – (74) – 12 – 32 – 61 – 15 – 67 – 77 – 46 – 52 – 28. (end ship: **Stucky** )

2 - 21 - 49 - 63 - 10 - 53 - 73 - 62 - 43 - 45 - 76 – 41 – (11) – (36) – (80) – (20 – 38) – 09 – (74) – 12 – 32 – 61 – 15 – 67 – 77 – 46 – 52 – 28. (end ship: **Stucky** )

2 - 21 - 49 - 63 - 10 - 53 - 73 - 62 - 43 - 41 – (11) – (36) – (80) – (20 – 38) – 09 – (74) – 12 – 32 – 61 – 15 – 67 – 77 – 46 – 52 – 28. (end ship: **Stucky** )

2 - 21 - 49 - 63 - 73 - 62 - 43 - 45 - 66 - 31 - 76 – 41 – (11) – (36) – (80) – (20 – 38) – 09 – (74) – 12 – 32 – 61 – 15 – 67 – 77 – 46 – 52 – 28. (end ship: **Stucky** )

2 - 21 - 49 - 63 - 73 - 62 - 43 - 45 - 76 – 41 – (11) – (36) – (80) – (20 – 38) – 09 – (74) – 12 – 32 – 61 – 15 – 67 – 77 – 46 – 52 – 28. (end ship: **Stucky** )

2 - 21 - 49 - 63 - 73 - 62 - 43 - 41 – (11) – (36) – (80) – (20 – 38) – 09 – (74) – 12 – 32 – 61 – 15 – 67 – 77 – 46 – 52 – 28. (end ship: **Stucky** )

2 - 21 - 49 - 63 - 10 - 53 - 73 - 62 - 43 - 45 - 66 - 31 - 76 – 41 – (11) – (36) – (80) – 09 – (74) – 12 – 32 – 61 – 15 – 67 – 03 – 07 – 52 – 19. (end ship: **Steve/Bucky/Nat** )

2 - 21 - 49 - 63 - 10 - 53 - 73 - 62 - 43 - 45 - 76 – 41 – (11) – (36) – (80) – (20 – 38) – 09 – (74) – 12 – 32 – 61 – 15 – 67 – 03 – 07 – 52 – 19. (end ship: **Steve/Bucky/Nat** )

2 - 21 - 49 - 63 - 10 - 53 - 73 - 62 - 43 - 41 – (11) – (36) – (80) – (20 – 38) – 09 – (74) – 12 – 32 – 61 – 15 – 67 – 03 – 07 – 52 – 19. (end ship: **Steve/Bucky/Nat** )

2 - 21 - 49 - 63 - 73 - 62 - 43 - 45 - 66 - 31 - 76 – 41 – (11) – (36) – (80) – (20 – 38) – 09 – (74) – 12 – 32 – 61 – 15 – 67 – 03 – 07 – 52 – 19. (end ship: **Steve/Bucky/Nat** )

2 - 21 - 49 - 63 - 73 - 62 - 43 - 45 - 76 – 41 – (11) – (36) – (80) – (20 – 38) – 09 – (74) – 12 – 32 – 61 – 15 – 67 – 03 – 07 – 52 – 19. (end ship: **Steve/Bucky/Nat** )

2 - 21 - 49 - 63 - 73 - 62 - 43 - 41 – (11) – (36) – (80) – (20 – 38) – 09 – (74) – 12 – 32 – 61 – 15 – 67 – 03 – 07 – 52 – 19. (end ship: **Steve/Bucky/Nat** )

2 - 21 - 49 - 63 - 73 - 62 - 43 - 41 – (11) – (36) – (80) – (20 – 38) – 09 – (74) – 12 – 32 – 61 – 15 – 24 – 26 – 03 – 07 – 52 – 19. (end ship: **Steve/Bucky/Nat** )

2 - 21 - 49 - 63 - 73 - 62 - 43 - 45 - 76 – 41 – (11) – (36) – (80) – (20 – 38) – 09 – (74) – 12 – 32 – 61 – 15 – 24 – 26 – 03 – 07 – 52 – 19. (end ship **: Steve/Bucky/Nat** )

2 - 21 - 49 - 63 - 10 - 53 - 73 - 62 - 43 - 45 - 66 - 31 - 76 – 41 – (11) – (36) – (80) – (20 – 38) – 09 – (74) – 12 – 32 – 61 – 15 – 24 – 26 – 03 – 07 – 52 – 19. (end ship: **Steve/Bucky/Nat** )

2 - 21 - 49 - 63 - 10 - 53 - 73 - 62 - 43 - 45 - 76 – 41 – (11) – (36) – (80) – (20 – 38) – 09 – (74) – 12 – 32 – 61 – 15 – 24 – 26 – 03 – 07 – 52 – 19. (end ship: **Steve/Bucky/Nat** )

2 - 21 - 49 - 63 - 10 - 53 - 73 - 62 - 43 - 41 – (11) – (36) – (80) – (20 – 38) – 09 – (74) – 12 – 32 – 61 – 15 – 24 – 26 – 03 – 07 – 52 – 19. (end ship: **Steve/Bucky/Nat** )

2 - 21 - 49 - 63 - 73 - 62 - 43 - 45 - 66 - 31 - 76 – 41 – (11) – (36) – (80) – (20 – 38) – 09 – (74) – 12 – 32 – 61 – 15 –24 – 26 – 03 – 07 – 52 – 19. (end ship: **Steve/Bucky/Nat** )

2 - 21 - 49 - 63 - 10 - 53 - 73 - 62 - 43 - 45 - 66 - 31 - 76 – 41 – (11) – (36) – (80) – 20. (end ship: **none** – **sad ending** – them being separated.)

2 - 21 - 49 - 63 - 10 - 53 - 73 - 62 - 43 - 45 - 66 - !39. (end ship: **none – sad ending– MCD** )

2 - 21 - 49 - 63 - 73 - 62 - 43 - 45 - 66 - !39. (end ship: **none – sad ending– MCD** )

_Second half of the fic (Avengers era):_

(47/71) - 27 – 50 – 35 – 64 – 51 – 54. (end ship: **Steve/Avengers/Bucky** )

(4) - 27 – 5 – 50 – 35 – 64 – 55 – 54. (end ship: **Steve/Avengers/Bucky** )

(57) - 27 – 25 – 68 – 06 – 70 – 72 – 16 – 23. (end ship: **Stucky** )

(57) - 27 – 25 – 68 – 06 – 65 – 33 – 16 – 30 – 34. (end ship: **Stucky** )

(42) - 27 – 29 – 58 – (35) – 56 – 17 – 30 – 34. (end ship: **Stucky** )

(40/75) - 27 - 18 – 37 – 14 – 69. (end ship: **Stucky** )

(40/75) - 27 - 18 – 78 – 79. (end ship: **Steve/Bucky/Natasha** )


	82. One-sentence summaries

  1. Rules and how to read this fic. -
  2. Prologue: Steve crashing the plane. 21
  3. Steve (wolf), Bucky and Natasha sticks together on the run. 07
  4. Steve living in Goose with Peggy. none or 27
  5. Steve is suspicious in the future, confesses to the team. 35
  6. Living in the Tower with the team #2 70 or 65
  7. Bucky and Nat on the run with wolf!Steve. 75 or 52
  8. Nat escaped alone, Steve and Bucky got punished. 13
  9. Bucky prepares for his mission and decides to bring Steve too. 74 or 12.
  10. Steve deciding to seek out Peggy instead of Bucky. 22 or 53.
  11. Daily life with the Soldier in the base. 41
  12. Bucky is told to go to the Red Room. 44 or 32
  13. Bucky is put into cryofreeze. 57
  14. Steve goes to vacation in Europe, reunion with Bucky. 69
  15. Training young Natasha. 67, 24 or 8.
  16. Steve and Bucky at the Tower, readjusting. 23 or 30
  17. Back to the Tower with Bucky. 30
  18. Steve awakening, first weeks in the future. TW: suicidal thoughts. 37 or 78
  19. Steve, Bucky and Natasha living in a V-poly relationship. none
  20. Becca growing old and Steve leaving the base. none or 38
  21. Awakening after the crash. 47 or 49
  22. Switching hosts, jumping into the ’cat’. 4 or 71
  23. Steve and Bucky first kiss. none
  24. Nat is caught compromised, Bucky is ordered to torture her. 59 or 26
  25. Steve awakened by SHIELD with his memories intact. 68
  26. Bucky freeing Natasha and them deciding to escape. 3 or 77
  27. Steve awakened by SHIELD. 50, 5, 25, 18 or 29.
  28. Steve (human) and Bucky living together on the run. none
  29. Steve awakening in SHIELD HQ in the future. 58
  30. Bucky kissing Steve and them getting together. 34
  31. Steve and Bucky surrendering to the soldiers. 76
  32. Steve agrees to go to the Red Room. 61
  33. Avengers team and Steve finding Bucky in cryofreeze. 16
  34. Bucky readjusting, living in the Tower. Getting married with Steve. none
  35. Life in the Tower, PTSD issues for the team. 64
  36. Steve being experimented on by Weapon X. 41
  37. Steve’s life in the future, dreaming of his memories. 14
  38. Steve switching to the next wolf and returning to the base. 80, 9 or 12
  39. TW: MCD! Steve and Bucky getting killed by the soldiers none
  40. Bucky accepted into the pack, victory howl. none or 27
  41. Bucky became the Winter Soldier. 11, 36, 80, 20 or 9
  42. Steve (wolf) and Bucky living together on the run. none or 27
  43. Steve finding Bucky, tortured and one-armed, in the cell. 41, 45 or 48
  44. Steve protesting and Bucky refusing to go to the Red Room. 57
  45. Waking Bucky up in the cell. 76 or 66
  46. Steve leading Bucky to the Valkyrie. 52
  47. Steve getting stuck in a whale’s mind. 27
  48. Steve leading Bucky out of his cell. 40
  49. Steve getting into a fish and discovering his possession ability. 63
  50. Adjusting to the future, confessing his memories to the team. 35
  51. HYDRA infestation, CA:TWS fight, Bucky saves Steve in the end. 54
  52. Bucky finding Steve’s frozen body in the Valkyrie. 19 or 28
  53. Becca protests, Steve ends up going back to look for Bucky. 73
  54. Bucky living in the Tower, polyavengers, Bucky joining. none
  55. HYDRA infestation, Bucky surrenders to the Avengers/Steve. 54
  56. Reunion at the zoo #1. 17
  57. Steve guarding the cryofreeze tank, getting dragged out of the wolf. 27
  58. Steve subtly looking for proof that Bucky is alive, life in the futue. 35 or 56
  59. Steve causes a distraction to allow Nat’s escape, them punished. 13
  60. Steve leaving the base to form a plan, going back with wolf pack. 43
  61. Life in the Red Room. 15
  62. Finding Bucky’s cell. 43 or 60
  63. Steve getting into his wolf host Becca, looking for Bucky. 10 or 73
  64. The cuddle room, Polyavengers getting together. 51 or 55
  65. Steve confessing to Avengers, team offers help #1. 33
  66. Steve leading Bucky out, them stopped by soldiers. 31 or 39
  67. Life in Red Room, Nat helps to convince Bucky to run away. 3 or 77
  68. Steve keeping his memories to himself, first weeks in future. 6
  69. Steve and Bucky living in the Tower, first kiss. none
  70. Steve confessing to Avengers, team offers help #2. 72
  71. Goose puching Steve out and imprisoning him in something. 27
  72. Reunion at the zoo #2. 16
  73. Looking for Bucky, finding the base. 52
  74. Steve and Bucky’s first mission together. 12
  75. Bucky and Nat getting together, Steve as their guardian wolf. none or 27
  76. Life in the base, Bucky slowly turning into Winter Soldier. 41
  77. Goodbye from Natasha, Steve and Bucky free on the run. 42 or 46.
  78. Bucky and Natasha joining Avengers in the Battle of Manhattan. 79
  79. Steve slowly remembering, joining into Buckynat dynamic. none
  80. Bucky’s new metal arm. 41 or 9
  81. Numeric guide: reading order, end ships.
  82. One-sentence summaries of chapters and where to go from them.



**Author's Note:**

> If I've missed any warning, please let me know! It could happened, especially in regards of the ships, since I've updated a lot in a short time period.


End file.
